Debate Drinking Game Results

The drink:
Magic Hat "Participation" variety pack, brewed in Vermont, in the lovely, according to Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin, great northwest United States.

The shot glasses:
The glasses my younger sister brought us back from Paris, where we are moving if McCain wins.

The television station:
Uh, PBS of course.

The final talley:
Obama = 28 drinks
McCain = 25 drinks

My hypothesis was wrong! Obama said more things on his list than McCain, so Tim drank more than me - three beers to my two and a half. I'm certain we missed some, but close enough. I thought we'd be drinking more as well. I could have chosen more domestic-policy-related words since domestic policy was the debate's topic, but how often do debates really stay on topic? Last night they were pretty good.

Tim drank many times because of the stipulation that he drink every time Obama looked at McCain when he attacked him. I almost as many times for McCain NOT looking at Obama when he attacked him. McCain did look at Obama more in this debate than previous debates. Tim drank more for "middle class" than for anything else. I thought "look" would be the big one. I drank only once for "my friends," which occurred during the closing statements. When Bob gave them the opportunity for closing statements I thought I was a goner. McCain's closing statement was what brought me closer to Tim's talley; Obama was significantly ahead for most of the debate. My most anxious moment of the night was when Bob asked about the VPs - I held my breath waiting for McCain to say "hockey mom," which would have meant I had to chug two beers. He didn't say it.

Some debates about the debate:
"Reagan" was on the list for McCain. One of the first statements of the night was about Nancy Reagan. I put "Reagan" on the list thinking of Ron, and his being John's hero, and the crazy Republican idea that Reagan policies are to be emulated, but we decided that I should drink for Nancy, determing that "Reagan" said by McCain in any context was for the same intent.

McCain did bring up Bill Ayers, so Tim and I discussed whether it meant I needed to chug a whole beer. We decided no, because "Weather Underground" was on the list, not Bill Ayers, and McCain never actually said "Weather Underground."

Some thoughts:

• Bob Schieffer was by far the best moderator.
• Joe Six-Pack must feel totally dissed since Joe Plumber got all of the attention.
• OH MY GOD DID MCCAIN SAY PEOPLE WHO SERVED IN THE MILITARY SHOULD NOT HAVE TO TAKE CERTIFICATION TESTS TO BECOME TEACHERS? They don't have to be educated or qualified to teach children? They can just become teachers because they went to boot camp? They can become teachers by just signing up? This is an even stupider idea than trickle-down economics. This may be an even dumber thing to say than saying New Hampshire is in the great northwest.
• I'm pretty sure McCain thinks Palin's youngest child has autism; he's confusing Down syndrome with autism.
• Thank you, Barack, for pointing out that nobody is pro-abortion. Pro-choice is not pro-abortion. And it was totally awesome when John, after repeatedly interrupting you, told you not "to raise anyone's taxes," you said, "Well, I don't mind paying a little more." Awesome.
• On that note, though, Barack, you could be a little more aggressive. Holy crap you are chill.
• Speaking as an adopted child: F*** you John for presenting adoption a simple solution to abortion. Obviously I'm a huge advocate for adoption; I would encourage any woman to choose adoption over abortion, but it is ridiculously, positively, absolutely up to her to decide. Giving a baby up for adoption means carrying the baby for nine months, which changes everything about your life. As does having a baby and then giving it up. So, as a woman: F*** you John for belittling what this means. I would never tell a 15-year-old who had been raped that she could not rid herself of the tiny clump of cells that if allowed to grow will mean she can't have any caffeine, she can't have all sorts of food, she'll gain a whole bunch of weight, she'll have permanent stretch marks and belly fat, she'll have to give up any sports or physical activities she engaged in, and, oh yeah, that she'll be a pregnant 15-year-old who will be judged constantly and who will after nine months have to push a large baby out of her small vagina. And then after all that, give him or her up. I mean, I know being a pregnant teenager is all the rage now, but still. So, this was just a thought.
• Michelle Obama wore blue and Cindy McCain wore red. Why does Cindy McCain smile at audiences like we're a kindergarten class? Is it because we're poor?

So that, my friends - or folks, if you prefer - is my story of the last presidential debate of 2008. To end this post, I'll share with you the sayings on our Magic Hat beer caps: "Do not Quibble with Iskabibble, "the Biggest Gaffe is the Failure to Laugh," "Don't smirk at quirks," "The universe Always has Other plans," "In Magic We Trust," and "Have 3, Gotta pee." Interpret any deep meaning from these that you will.