Life update

Big changes have occurred since I last posted on this neglected blog. My husband got a job. We moved to a new apartment. And I got a new job. Of course, this post will be all about me and my new job.

First let me preface that I loved being a freelance copy editor for many reasons, and I will miss it for many reasons. I now work for the United Methodist Women as a magazine editor. Editing + United Methodisting = what I believe in. That I get to combine these two parts of my life is very exciting, and even after just one day on the job I'm very, very excited about what I'll be doing (even if it means I don't get to work in my pajamas anymore). I'm going to get paid to change the world. Watch out.

Maybe next year

I reinjured my tendon a few weeks ago and had to drop out of the marathon. Thankfully the great people at the Lake Placid Marathon are letting me roll over my 2010 registration to next year's race. This was unexpected and especially gracious of them. If you're considering running a half or full marathon at any point in your life, run the Lake Placid Marathon.

First in line

Yesterday I waited in line at the bus station for an hour. As departure time neared, the line grew. Minutes before the awaited moment when the bus driver enters through the sliding doors to announce that bus loading shall begin, a young man sets his bag down and stands at the front of line. Without hestitation I ask, "Are you just going to get in the front of the line?" He looked at me. I continued, "It wouldn't be fair to everyone else in line." He replied, "Oh, I didn't know there was a line." Then he moved to the back of the line.

I immediately felt awful. I wasn't wrong for pointing out to him that the line existed and that his budging was rude. In fact, I soothed my knee-jerk guilt by telling myself that I'd stood up for my fellow passengers. But "Are you just going to get in the front of the line?" Really? I'm a bitch.

My filter is thin at best. That's why I avoid confrontation: self-preservation (that and passive-aggressiveness, though almost 100% ineffective, is so much funnier). I'll say things I'll feel bad about saying. If I were trying to convince you that I'm a good person I'd say it's because I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings, but it's really just because I don't want to feel bad. Also, I'm horrible at improv, so should the person I'm confronting fight back my reply would be something along the lines of "Oh yeah? Well, well, you're ugly." Then my ego would be bruised, and that would be even worse than feeling bad. There's not much I wouldn't do to save my pride (little, though, my pride represents).

What I should have said instead was, "Excuse me. The end of the line is back there." I've said this before in similar situations and it has worked just as well. I sounded like a spoiled teenager yesterday.

The chance that this man missed noticing the substantial line, marked by ropes, is slim. The chance he was taking was that no one would call him out on his rudeness, a gamble he's likely won before. I don't admire his decision but I understand it, even if it is over something as stupid as getting on a Greyhound first.

What have we learned from this tale? Practice saying "Excuse me" first.

An update (about me, of course)

Since February I've been training to run the Lake Placid Marathon in June. A month ago (St. Patrick's Day, to be exact) I returned home from a ten-mile run in Central Park (with a short stop to watch part of the parade) with a sore Achilles tendon and a swollen ankle. I had pulled my Achilles tendon. As it turns out, this isn't an injury you can just walk off. Attempts to run a few days later, then a few days after that, were unsuccessful. I finally decided to listen to my husband (and my brother who is a personal trainer who said, "You let that sucker get back to 100%") and not run.

Needless to say, this was frustrating. I had been kicking ass at my training, running in rainstorms and snowstorms and freezing temperatures and up hills, and I was feeling really good about my preparation for the marathon. I was depressed that I couldn't run (and just as spring was beginning) and angry that I was going to fall behind in training. I finally got back to running this week. A three-mile run on Monday sucked. My tendon, thankfully, was fine, but instead of kicking ass my ass was kicked. Same thing for Wednesday and a four-mile run on Thursday. Completely pooped. Thursday afternoon I was questioning whether I should stop pretending I'd be ready in time for the marathon. But today was better. I ran five miles and it felt good. I did my best to supress a smile after the first mile when I realized it was going to be a good run, but I'm pretty sure I smiled anyway, by myself, running in a populated park in New York City. Whatever.

I have some catching up to do, and it's not going to be easy, but after today I'm convinced I can do it (which is good, because the race entry is nonrefundable).

GoodSearch

Want a way to support Heifer International, First Book, Nothing But Nets, Dress for Success, and/or Manhattan Country School for free every day? Make GoodSearch (www.goodsearch.com) your home page.

GoodSearch is a search engine powered by Yahoo! that donates 50% of its advertising revenue to charities featured on the site. All you need to do is conduct the Web searches you conduct every day. Each time you search, money is donated to a charity of your choosing or to the "charity of the day," which changes daily.

All of the charities I've written about in this blog can be supported through GoodSearch. Just type the charity's name into the "Who do you GoodSearch for?" box and press "verify." From then forward, every search you make helps support your cause.

GoodSearch is currently supporting 89,181 nonprofits, so you'll never be at a loss for an organization to support. If your nonprofit isn't listed, you can apply to have it added. You can also help by spreading the word about GoodSearch.

Many of us have a search engine as our home page or search engine toolbar on our browser. Consider changing your home page and your toolbar to GoodSearch and help make the world a little better without affecting your daily life (or your wallet).

End mountaintop removal coal mining

The 7th and 8th graders of Manhattan Country School in Manhattan have chosen as their 2009-2010 Activism Project the cessation of mountaintop removal coal mining in Appalachia. They fund-raise for this cause throughout the year, which will end with a week of programming in West Virginia. Why did they choose to fight mountaintop removal? According to their Web site:

When the top of a mountain is blasted off, the surrounding communities experience changed landscapes, polluted water, decreased property values and increases in asthma and cancer rates. The people of Appalachia are among the poorest in the United States, and are being taken advantage of by the coal companies.

The MCS students encourage you take action by doing the following:
1. Contact your representatives and encourage them to support the Appalachia Restoration Act and the Clean Water Protection Act.
2. Contact the White House (202-456-1111) and ask them to encourage the Environmental Protection Agency to close the loophole in the Clean Water Act created during the previous administration that allows companies to dump waste in streams and lakes. Click here for talking points.
3. Ask your electric company to stop buying power produced from MTR coal.
4. Switch to alternative energy providers.
5. Use less energy.
6. Install solar panels.
7. Spread the word.

If you live in the New York City area, you can attend some of the school's fund-raising events, such as the upcoming Appalachia folk music concert in South Bronx. You can also donate directly to their cause by clicking here.

Donate not just to end mountaintop removal but to support these 7th and 8th graders trying to make the world just a little bit better.

Nothing But Nets

Malaria is the leading killer of children in Africa. Mosquitos spread malaria. So it makes sense that if you stop mosquitos from biting, it stops the spread of malaria. Nothing But Nets is a worldwide grassroots campaign to stop the spread of malaria by providing insecticide treated mosquito nets to families in Africa. Nothing But Nets is part of the United Nations Foundation and is a 501(c)(3) public charity.

Every 30 seconds someone dies of malaria. A donation of $10.00 purchases a mosquito net and sends it to Africa, protecting a family of up to four with a mosquito net, greatly decreasing their chances of contracting malaria. How to help: (1) Donate directly on their Web site, (2) buy a sweet "Buzzkill" shirt or other Nothing But Nets gear from the Nets Store, (3) spread the word with their free toolkits and posters, (4) send e-cards, (5) download a Nothing But Nets toolbar and raise funds for NBN every time you do a Web search, or (6) become a Net-raiser as an individual or by joining or starting a team and challenge friends and family to reach a fund-raising goal.

Send a net, save a life.

www.twitter.com/nothingbutnets
www.flickr.com/photos/nothingbutnets
www.facebook.com/NothingButNets
www.youtube.com/user/nothingbutnets

Dress for Success

Dress for Success was founded in 1997 in New York City and is now an international 501(c)(3) or equivalent not-for-profit organization providing suits for underpriviliged women who have job interviews. Their mission, as listed on their Web site, is the following:

The mission of Dress for Success is to promote the economic independence of disadvantaged women by providing professional attire, a network of support, and the career development tools to help women thrive in work and in life.

Women eligible for an interview suit have been referred and have a job interview scheduled. Dress for Success also provide employment retention programs, and they follow up with women once they get a job to provide further suits and separates. Though a wide and deep organization, the simple act of providing a woman with professional attire for her job interview is a simple act that can (and likely often is) the difference between being hired or not. A job is not only a means of income of which to live off, but it's key to feeling normal and secure.

Ways to Give
You can donate monetarily directly on their Web site. You can donate money and clothes to your local affiliate. If you're in a position to do so, you can gift stock, get your company involved, or become a sponsor. You can volunteer at a Dress for Success location or participate in SOS (Send one Suit) Weekend. You can also spread the word by becoming a fan on Facebook or following them on Twitter.

Though not in name, this organization feeds the hungry, clothes the poor, helps eliminate poverty, and makes women's lives better. Next time you're feeling charitable, remember Dress for Success. (And men, check out Career Gear.)

It's the perfect week to donate to First Book

This week is Words Matter Week, and Thursday is National Grammar Day.

In fact, the National Association of Independent Writers and Editors, sponsor of Words Matter Week, has partnered with First Book:





Reading is the first step toward realizing that words matter and that good grammar is the best way to make friends. Send books and invite more kids to the party!

First Book

First Book is a 501(3)(c) nonprofit organization that provides books to children in the United States and Canada who lack access to age-appropriate books. You'd probably guess, and guess correctly, that these children needing books live in lower-income communities, where literacy rates are at their lowest. The First Book Web site provides a page of literacy resources you can browse to better inform yourself of literacy issues and find sources to help get kids reading. You can't learn to read if you have nothing appropriate to read. First Book provides "new books to children in preschools and after-school programs, mentoring and tutoring programs, shelters and day care centers, and beyond" in order to empower teachers and mentors. High-quality books help educators and leaders provide higher quality education.

If you were lucky enough to have books in your childhood, you likely remember your favorites, or even what book got you hooked. Every child should have a chance at a bigger world, one simply and easily found in books. If it hasn't already popped in your head, like the Reading Rainbow theme song says, "I can go anywhere . . . I can be anything. Take a look, it's in a book. . . ." Few scenes are more hopeful, heartening, and soothing than a roomful of children reading. For sure this is a sentimental paragraph, but it doesn't mean it isn't true.

So how do you help? You have a few options. You can make a monetary donation on their Web site (which also provides a mailing address if you prefer to send a check). $10.00 buys 5 books. You can buy gifts that benefit First Book. You can start a Books for Kids, Books for Keeps fund-raising Web page. If you're a qualifying organization, you can buy books from the First Book Marketplace. You can spread the word by sending an e-card or by placing a First Book link on your Web site. The "Get Involved" page also provides information on volunteering, keeping informed, and offers special opportunities for companies and organizations.

Education is the cure for many - if not all - of society's ills. Reading is the beginning. Every child deserves a bedtime story.

Heifer International

If a child comes to you with a scraped knee you have a few ways to help: put a bandage on the scrape, put a bandage on the scrape and retie the untied shoelaces the child tripped on, or put a bandage on the scrape and teach the child to tie his or her own shoelaces. All are valid solutions, but the longest-lasting solution is the third option. Though totally unrelated to scraped knees and shoelaces, this is the idea behind Heifer International: giving families a source of food rather than short-term relief.

If you've never heard of Heifer International, give yourself a minute to get over how adorable it is, because it is adorable. You can buy a flock of chicks or ducks for a family, bunnies, a llama, a cow, a pig - I dare you to think about this and not think, awww. It's okay; go ahead.

Now, usually when something is adorable it doesn't bother trying to be much else since it can get by on its adorableness. Heifer International bothers to be more. The animals aren't pets. According to Heifer, "We refer to the animals as 'living loans' because in exchange for their livestock and training, families agree to give one of its animal’s offspring to another family in need." Animals provide milk, wool, power, eggs, meat, and offspring, commodities for self-sustenance and market. Nor does Heifer simply drop a cow off at a door and say good luck; they provide training and organizational development. Their aim is to build communities and secure futures.

The online gift catalog offers animals such as heifers, sheep, water buffalo, goats, and bees, and it also offers seeds and trees. The cost of the gifts range from $20 for a flock of chicks to a heifer for $500 to $10,000 to support their Women in Livestock Development. Obviously, the gifts range from an individual contribution to a group fund-raiser contribution. If you've encountered Heifer International before, it was likely presented to you as a group fund-raiser. You can help fund a project, set up monthly giving, or set up a gift registry. You can also make an online monetary donation of any amount that will go where it's most needed.

Other ideas: Buy it as a gift for someone who doesn't want gifts or who doesn't usually like your gifts. For birthdays request that all gifts come from Heifer. In lieu of favors at a wedding reception, baby or briday shower, etc., give guests a note on cow-shaped or colored paper that informs them that the favor money was spent at Heifer International instead. I'm sure you can come up with even better ideas.

Heifer International is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization accredited by the Better Business Bureau.

Heifer International
1 World Avenue
Little Rock, AR 72202.
1-800-422-0474.
www.facebook.com/heiferinternational
www.twitter.com/heifer


Heifer isn't looking to replace the necessary bandages and shoelace tiers but instead wants to make sure bandages and shoelaces are always available and that those who own them know how to use them. And come on, the ducks are so cute.

Because it's Valentine's Day

In past Februarys I've spent the month writing love letters to people and things who or that make my life better. This is actually a lot of fun to do and I'm a little disappointed I forgot about it this year. But since it's Valentine's Day (and not yet Lent so I can talk about myself to excess), I feel like sharing a few things in my life that deserve a valentine:

Public transportation, bakeries, organizations that give away free Broadway tickets, my rain boots, television, Twitter, Netflix, coffee, my iPod, Hugh Jackman, online ordering and grocery delivery for their convenience and for reducing any need for me to interact with human beings, sarcasm, irony, greenmarkets, Sarah Palin, local news, e-editing, coupons and discounts and happy hour, public parks, beers, gossip blogs and the celebrities they birth and nurture and neglect and manslaughter, the D.E.N.N.I.S Method, uncurtained windows I can look in, and Cheetos.

Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day!

For Lent

Though Lenten sacrifices aren't as emphasized for United Methodists as they are for Catholics and perhaps members of some other protestant denominations, the period before Easter is recognized appropriately by Methodists as a time of reflection, simplification, and mourning.* In recent years my home church, Park Terrace Community United Methodist Church, has started a great Lenten practice they call Give It Up 4, for which four charities (local and worldwide) are chosen as beneficiaries to whom parishioners can donate money during Lent, the idea being that churchgoers give up some habit in their lives on which they spend money and instead give that money to one of the four charities. For example, if you spend $10.00 a week on delicious cupcakes, during Lent Park Terrace encourages you to instead skip the cupcakes and give that $10.00 to The Heifer Project, or Sky Lake, or Mom's House, or Henderson Settlement, for example. This combines the traditional Lenten custom of sacrifice but goes a perfect step further to include giving.

So why am I talking about this (besides to give a shout-out to the church I grew up in)? Because my Lenten observation is an adaptation of this idea. I haven't blogged a whole lot lately, but when I do I usually blab on about myself. Starting Wednesday (which is Ash Wednesday) I will not write about myself and instead write a blog post a week bringing attention to some organization, charity, cause, etc. that is working to make the world better.

This may not seem to you a great sacrifice or a great benefit, and God bless you if you think this because this actually will be a weighty sacrifice for me; I am, much of the time, insufferably egocentric (which stems from pride, which stems from insecurity, most likely.) See? I'm talking about myself right now. That my blog posts will be beneficial is more arguable, but I'll try. Lent as I see it is ultimately self-serving in that it provides opportunity for self-reflection, soul-searching, and spiritual betterment, which in turn benefits the world as a whole, and my Lenten practice follows this pattern, and hopefully on some level will succeed.

I could use this space to encourage you to do something similar, but what do I know? Do what works for you (and then share it with others).



*This is most certainly a layperson's personal description of Lent in her chosen denomination and not a statement on behalf of the United Methodist Church. Because I'm so widely quoted in very important publications, I feel a disclaimer explaining that no, actually, I'm not the top expert of all proclamations UMC is necessary.

You can call me stunted if it makes you feel better.

When my husband and I first got together, and pretty much immediately realized we were going to get married, we started having The Talks. Do you want kids? How many? What are your goals for the future? Where do you want to live? (Secret: These questions, with the right person, actually aren't excruciating.) New York City was not either of our answers four years ago, but we obviously changed our opinion and thankfully grew into this idea together. (Secret: Changing is okay.) School was our excuse to move here for a year and is now our excuse to stay here, but we like it here as a home. When talking about where we were going to live, what the hubs and I initially didn't completely agree on was where we wanted our house to be, in town or in the country. I always voted in town; he liked the country. What this discussion really revealed is that we assumed we buy a house someday.

The idea of home ownership didn't appeal to me four years ago, but I figured I was just being immature and I'd get over it. I'm almost 30 and I still don't want to own a home. Just thinking about it makes me tired. Owning a townhouse here in the city or being part of a co-op is stomachable, but moving away from the city and needing to drive everywhere is not. This is probably why I always leaned toward living "in town." The hubster right now feels the same way; the "country" can be vacation, not home. You'll of course be the first to know if this changes.

I'm not raging against the machine or judging homeowners with lawns and fences and car seats (well, maybe a little, at least the belief that all normal people want this), but I am saying this isn't for me now and maybe never will be for me, and I'm okay with this. Turns out, a lot of people are okay with this, according to this New York Times article. Yes, we plan on having children. (Secret: It's okay to have children in the city.) We even plan on having a dog. For the same reasons we like living in the city we'd like to raise kids in the city. This doesn't make me better or worse than the proverbial you, just different. Or maybe not that different.

Some updates

Whether or not I promised to update or whether or not you care, here are some updates, mostly lacking in juxtaposition.

First of all, I survived Christmas. We spent eight days in our hometown catching up with greatly missed friends and family (and breaking the news that we'll be in NYC for awhile - everyone should just move here). I had a goal of buying Christmas gifts for which some of the proceeds would go to charity, and I succeeded in all but a few, and everyone got something to unwrap. Before you go thinking I'm a good person, next year's gift theme is that it has to be sold on TV. Because this is awesome, Christmas shopping may not make me want to drink this time around. Only maybe.

We did go see the balloons being blown up on Thanksgiving Eve. It was rainy and packed full of people, but still worth it. Well, worth it to see half of the ballons and then go get pizza and cupcakes. And we did go Thanksgiving morning to the parade. The day was warm, our location was good, and I actually ended up wishing that we'd shown up earlier to see more of the parade. The police block the parade route off a block away from the route, so parade watchers have lots of space to set up ladders and see the parade without being in anyone's way, the kids can run around without getting hit by cars, and vendors can sell pretzels and hot dogs and coffee etc. Everyone cheers when a balloon goes by. It's fun.

I didn't go see Jonathan Lethem read the final part of Chronic City because my sister-in-law came to visit that weekend. While there are far worse ways to spend an evening, many can think of better ways than to listen to someone read a book (as silly as this seems to me). So we went to the Brooklyn Brewery instead and got her drunk. This night also included pizza and cupcakes. I got many Jonathan Lethem books for Christmas, so I'm hoping he does some more readings of some kind and that I turn into a big groupie.

Because of all of the pizza and cupcakes and my inability to walk by a bakery without going in, my body has become what you'd call a little soft. (Don't worry, my heart's as hard as ever.) I'm looking forward to marathon training for many reasons, but one them is to watch and feel my body change. This was fun for the half marathon, so if my math is correct it should be twice as fun for a full marathon. The consciously eating more healthy - which means not changing my consumption patterns but adding more healthy food to them - helps with the desoftening too. Food consumption itself earns a different meaning when you're paying attention to the amount and kind of energy it will give you. What I'm not looking forward to is running outside in the cold. A gym membership to use the treadmills because I'm a wus doesn't really seem justified. Likely you'll be hearing more about this since it will likely be the most interesting thing about me until June.

New Year's Resolutions

Because I know you've been wondering, the following are my New Year's resolutions:
Eat more cupcakes
Have more sex
Be more giving
Run a marathon

I live in New York City, the cupcake capital of the world (or something like that). I will be trying many different kinds of cupcakes in 2010. My second resolution is self-explanatory, I think, and will likely take care of resolution #3. Running a marathon also precludes me needing to make eating healthier - even with the cupcakes - and exercising more their own resolutions. I'm registered for the Lake Placid marathon in June. Training begins next month. You know you'll be hearing more about this.

Save the Shop Around the Corner!

Yes, this is another story about a West Village bookstore that's closing . . . then reopening a few blocks away. The New York Times called this a reprieve. The store in this case is Left Bank Books, on W. 4th St. I've been in here only once, because it sells predominantly first editions, making it attractive but expensive. Attraction + expensive = me avoiding it. I, however, have walked by it many times because I love love love how the store looks. Chipping white paint, slightly disarrayed books in the front windows, glass door, small chalkboard billboard on the sidewalk in front. It's perfect. In fact, a picture I took of it serves as my Twitter background. I'm happy the store will still be open, because someday I will buy a book from there, but sad it won't look the same. Yes, this really does matter to me. Click on the link to the store and you'll understand. Now we wait to find out which expensive clothing store moves in.

The day before Black Friday

Thanksgiving looms and Americans are today mentally if not physically preparing for The Meal. And if Wal-Mart is to be believed, some people are even buying special plates and spoons to be used for this one meal only. Like a good New Yorker I will be paying someone else to make my T-Day dinner, mentally and physically. (I blame this on the city, but I'd be doing this wherever I lived. I'm giving someone a job. Yes, you're right to feel shamed, turkey cookers.)

The college is offering a full Thanksgiving buffet for $20, which includes wine. I don't even like turkey, but sleep well knowing that I will eat at least half the ticket price's worth of mashed potatoes and, if all goes well, drink more than the ticket's worth of wine. Judge not; this is my tribute to frugality, and I'd expect you to do no less. In addition, if you haven't noticed, Christmas is the next holiday after Thanksgiving. Christmas is the Dark Ages of the year, a period of cultural decline and the death of all things enlightening and Good, so if I need to drink my way through Advent I think it best you let me. Happy birthday Jesus. Sorry we suck so much.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. We've invited our parents down to the big city to spend the food-focused day with us Thursday. Rumor has it a local department store organizes a parade, so we'll be heading downtown Thanksgiving morning to see if this is true. The family is coming in tomorrow night, so we'll be going to watch the balloon inflators do their thing, which will likely be awesome and likely render us less obligated to wake up early on parade morning to get a viewing spot. Fingers crossed, our parade-watching manner will lean more toward lackadaisical than enthusiastic. The weather forecast for Thursday is 56 and cloudy, and for this I am thankful. Then it's back to the hometown for a few days to visit friends and family and rock to Bad Hair Day and watch a friend get married.

So if I don't say it later, have a happy Thanksgiving.

Follow-up/through

I declared recently that I'd be reading more books (that I'm not getting paid to copyedit). I'm happy to report that I finished Love in the Time of Cholera and have begun Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by David Sedaris. Feel free at anytime while reading this to interrupt and congratulate me.

As I also mentioned previously, this week is Independent Bookstore Week NYC. To celebrate, Tim and I hopped the L to Brooklyn last night and heard Jonathan Lethem read from his new book Chronic City at Spoonbill & Sugartown. Here I bought said book and had Mr. Lethem sign it, then soon after lamented my lack of foresight and leaving my copy of Motherless Brooklyn at home. I'll likely bring it with me to the December 4 finale of his marathon reading of the new book (awesome, right?) at BookCourt. So before then I need to read up to where he left off last night so that I can be a good audience member and teacher's pet.

This morning we visited the bookshop I mentioned yesterday, Biography Bookshop. This is another achievement for which you can congratulate me. In the sunshine and our sweaters we browsed the bargain book tables on the sidewalk, making piles of desired books and then, downcast, returning books back to the table in an effort to abate our gluttony. We bought books of course, all but one of which were under $10.00, including an originally $60.00 hardcover collected works of W. B. Yeats. The more expensive book was Juliet, Naked, by Nick Hornby, a book that is on my list of New York City related books to read (as is Chronic City). So Ms. Tillman's No Lease on Life has been trumped for now, but she is no. 1 on my Borrow from the Library list. (And libraries are awesome. Please don't view my book-purchasing binge as an affront to the glorious opportunity to borrow books for free from your public library, and do feel free to judge my penchant for making books mine - mine! - by buying them and owning them and keeping them in my possession for ever and ever because I. love. them. so. much.)

And as of this minute, I having nothing to edit. In regular-people terms, I have the day off of work. I could fold the clean laundry, or I could read until Glee comes on. I'm not folding laundry. You can congratulate me on this decision too.

A little farther east

Since my previous pronouncement of my favorite part of the city I've unastonishingly made many visits to this pronounced area. I've twice made the mistake of visiting the West Village on the weekend, and because of this became sourly aware of the previously tolerated abundance of Marc Jacobs stores. Oh, hey, there's a Ralph Lauren, too, and they all have lines of faux-fir-vest clad girls with their male chaperones in their rolled up jeans and leather loafers waiting at the door, an occurence that could not be soothed by flourless chocolate cake because Magnolia Bakery, too, has a line, in which I clearly refuse to wait. And now the Biography Bookshop across the street from the cupcake parade is closing.

In an attempt to hate the player not the game, I will not blame this on the fancy retailers who in a capitalist society can put their stores on cobblestone streets if they want to, nor will I blame Magnolia Bakery, whose fault it's not that Carrie Bradshaw ate one of their cupcakes and sent swarms of faux-fir-vest clad Sex and the City lovers to the corner of Bleecker and West 11th. So who are the players to hate?

I watched and liked watching Sex and the City, so I cannot join the chorus of native city dwellers decrying the SATC effect, especially since I've lived here for only three months. It's not the reason I like the West Village nor why I moved to the city, nor will I ever be waiting in a high-end line to buy the patent leather mary janes for $1,500 instead of $2,000, but my deep affection for my new home makes me understand why someone would put it in the title of their show, make it a character, and aim it toward an upper-middle-class chick-lit audience. You can't tell someone how to love something, even if you think they are doing it wrong. "True love can be expressed in only Harlem dive bars and East Village hookah shops, in Chucks and plaid listening to obscure bands on your iPod and cooking vegan split-pea soup for you and your five roommates."

We pick our favorites and then begrudge them success. We don't want to share. Oprah better keep her book-club-wielding hands away from our favorite book. You die a little the minute you hear your favorite indie band played on the radio. Chace Crawford mentions your favorite coffee shop in an interview and it feels like Christmas morning and Santa forgot to stop at your house.

As with any gentrifying neighborhood, locals rightly lament the loss of a loved identity. The players call it progress, but this isn't what it is. It's just change. The closing Biography Bookshop has opened a new store under the name Bookbook a little farther east on Bleecker, a direction I've been walking more lately. It's less quaint, more grittyish, and maybe someday I'll browse the used record store and not look like a poser or a douche. But I still like the stoops on Perry Street and Magnolia's flourless chocolate cake, so I'll still be visiting, just during the week.