You've got bad bells, Phil.

Last night Phil Donahue tried to teach me to play the bells. They wouldn't ring. I think I was holding them wrong.

P.S. I've started taking OTC sleeping pills in an attempt to fall back asleep after (or, if I'm very lucky, not be woken up at all by) my inconsiderate and very loud upstairs neighbors who stay up until 4:00 a.m. every night. No, they don't have jobs. The lovely Tylenol sleep aid could enhance or construe my celebrity dreams, or bring about a whole new dream theme. Stress = celebrities, sleeping pills = odder celebrities than usual/something else altogether? I've never dreamed of Phil Donahue before. I will likely be using these pills until my neighbors' lease is up at the end of April. (Please cross your fingers for me that the landlord does not renew their lease.) So, whether or not next month's blog is a "theme month," I will inform you of any sleeping-pill induced celebrity dreams. Don't worry.

Thanks but no thanks, Jerry.

I was walking through New York City one afternoon when Jerry Seinfeld pulled over to see if I wanted a ride. He was driving a semitrailer. I said no thanks. He said he understood.

Fa IS a long, long way to run

Last night I was governess to the Von Trapp children, the movie children of course. We went fishing, then had a picnic of our fish, which tasted really, really bad. I was hoping we'd sing a song about bad-tasting fish, but we did not. I must not have taught them to sing yet.

And no Captain Von Trapp, movie or otherwise.
I love Christopher Plummer.

No John Tesh, I will not play in your band.

I promised to make March's blog entries a theme month as well, and have now gone halfway through the month without posting anything. I'd say I am ashamed, but I'd be lying. I was just lazy. But I'll keep you in suspense no longer.

When I am stressed, I have dreams about celebritities. I saw a lot of Al Gore in college. With my publishing company recently closing, some friends and I assumed this would be prime time for celebrity dreams. Fortunately (though unfortunately for this blog), I haven't been as stressed out as I assumed I would be. Since February 15 I've had celebrity dreams only of Jim Carrey being a member of my youth group and of John Tesh asking me to be in his band. But don't worry, I will post about other celebrity dreams I've had that I remember, and will likely never forget.

By the way, when John Tesh asked me to join his band, I told him no, because he pronounced "diabetes" as "diabeetus." I think it's a valid reason. The first, thus correct, pronunciation of "diabetes" given in Webster's is "dye-a-beet-eez" (though using other pronunciation guide symbols of course). And while we're on the subject, "syrup" is correctly pronounces as "sir up" and "caramel" as "car mell." I hope I don't have to correct Al Gore.