If you read my previous entry, you know I want to run a marathon in 2009 (I blame this new bug on my brother, who inspired me/talked me into it). Likely my first marathon will be the New York City Marathon in November. Then in January 2010 I want to run the Disney Marathon, with the ultimate goal of running the Paris Marathon before I die. There are plenty of races and time to decide; this isn't what this blog entry is about. I want to run for a charity, but I need help deciding. I'm appealing to you for suggestions.
I periodically get mailings from The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training, recruiting members to run for the charity. Joining means being part of a team, part of an organized and valid charitable organization, and race fees and travel and lodging are all taken care of. There is an initial fee to join, then, depending on the race and the distance, a minimum fund-raising goal to meet. If the goal is not met, the runner is required to pay the difference. I plan on going to a local meeting to see what it's all about.
However, I would like to run for a more local charity (and since I'm a brat, running and training with a team doesn't really appeal to me). I'm having trouble thinking of a good one. There are plenty of local places I could support: Mom's House, The Danielle House, Literacy Volunteers of Broome/Tioga County, the local chapter of Special Olympics, or Sky Lake. Or I could run for a United Methodist charity - like UMCOR, Nothing but Nets, etc. I'd like, somehow, to set up an online donation site as well, which is a little harder if I'm trying to stay local. So help me! Any ideas would help.
If you're a friend, friend of a friend, stranger, leave me comments. If you have any experience with this or guidance, I would like it.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Monday, December 29, 2008
New Year's Revalations
There is no war on Christmas, but there should be.
If you think you're a prophet, you're not.
If you've ever called yourself a martyr, you're not.
Politeness is not the same as kindness.
When you're too nice and too "good," people don't like you, which defeats the purpose; whose life are you actually making better?
There is no such thing as realism.
Sometimes reaching out isn't as good of an idea as you think it is: do it, but be prepared.
It's okay to be annoyed by people who say, "Oh, I don't watch TV." TV is often awesome.
Honesty is right, but not an excuse to be mean.
I know how you really feel about me. No, really, I do.
If you think you're a prophet, you're not.
If you've ever called yourself a martyr, you're not.
Politeness is not the same as kindness.
When you're too nice and too "good," people don't like you, which defeats the purpose; whose life are you actually making better?
There is no such thing as realism.
Sometimes reaching out isn't as good of an idea as you think it is: do it, but be prepared.
It's okay to be annoyed by people who say, "Oh, I don't watch TV." TV is often awesome.
Honesty is right, but not an excuse to be mean.
I know how you really feel about me. No, really, I do.
In 2009 I will:
Run a half marathon
Not talk so much
Skip out of a church service early to watch the season finale of LOST if I have to (again)
Not talk so much
Skip out of a church service early to watch the season finale of LOST if I have to (again)
Monday, December 22, 2008
Don't do it!
I just finished sending a Merry Christmas e-mail to my freshman roommate from college, who is now married to her college boyfriend. So it got me thinking about the "college relationship" and how weird it is, or at least was when I was in college.
College relationships fall into a few categories: the college student (usually a freshman guy) still dating the significant other from high school who is still in high school, the college student dating another college student from a different college, two students from the same college dating, friends with benefits, that person you make out with if you end up at the same party, or, which seemed the most prevalent at my college, two college students from the same college who officially date for awhile but breakup and still have sex, this post-breakup relationship lasting far longer than the "real" one.
Sometimes, rarely, both parties involved were adults about it. By "adults" I mean somewhat realistic, knowing that it was a temporary situation until one or the other moved on and/or found someone else. Inevitable awkwardness would ensue, but it wouldn't last long. Granted, the moving on would have occurred much sooner if they'd have stopped sleeping together, but different strokes I guess. Most of the time, though, one or both parties were fooling themselves. Sometimes both fooled themselves into thinking they were "adults" who could simply stop when they decided to, who were over the other and simply passing time in a pleasurable way. However, in most cases, the post-breakup "relationship" persisted because the person who got dumped still had feelings for the dumper, and the dumper still wanted the dumped to have feelings for him or her; the dumped fooled himself or herself into thinking they were going to get back together and that the other person actually cared.
Thankfully, I actually never found myself in this particular situation. Well, not the college and sex part anyway.
side note
When I went to school I fell into the "college student dating a college student from another college" category, and, even worse, a carryover relationship from high school. A few months into academia I was given an ultimatum by my significant other, one which neither of us were willing to budge on, so he broke up with me. So I cut him off basically completely. The breakup was inevitable, I know now, since what I perceived as/forced to be a relationship he had intended to be a fling (yes, I know you expected it to be the other way around). I initially cut him off completely out of stubborness, because he had said he wanted to still be close friends and I stopped being his friend to punish him. Turns out this was the right way to go anyway, even if my intentions were cruel. I no doubt would have been the one fooling herself into believing we would get back together.
side note over
However, I likely feel close to this last scenario because my husband found himself in a similar situation, long before me of course. It made him completely miserable. Do I have a point? I don't know. Do I have instructions? Yes.
If you are the dumper: If you have any amount of decency or any sense of kindness end the relationship when you ended the relationship. You know this is the right thing to do. Sure, the relapse may be comfortable, and you may actually think you are doing the other person a favor. You aren't. You are making it so much worse. No matter what the other person says, if he or she proposes the post-breakup relationship tell him or her NO. If you have proposed or initiated the post-breakup relationship, get over yourself and end it. Fewer things in this world are crueler than to break up with someone and then not let him or her go. You are selfish and manipulative. Stop it now (if you are actually capable of not being selfish and manipulative).
If you are the dumped: If you are thinking of pursuing a post-breakup relationship, DON'T. This means you still have feelings for the person, and you are fooling yourself if you think this would help more than hurt. He or she broke up with you; this person does not want to be with you. If this person is not letting you move on, call him or her out (feel free to use some bad names if necessary). If this person has proposed a post-breakup relationship, run far, far away. Warn your friends. I know it sounds good right now, but you will be miserable. Run. Away. Make sure to get your things back first. If you really believe you two are meant to be, which you probably believe if the breakup is new, it's better to have a clean break now or you will forever resent him or her, and then never really be meant to be. If you can't run away, hopefully you have some friends who will at least try to help.
Webster's defines "closure" as "an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality." You will never get this from the other person. Closure, if it in fact exists, comes from being away from the other person, from starting a new routine, from reconnecting with old friends you may have pushed away (which in a healthy relationship doesn't happen, by the way), from finding new interests. If all else fails, give me a call and we'll hang out.
College relationships fall into a few categories: the college student (usually a freshman guy) still dating the significant other from high school who is still in high school, the college student dating another college student from a different college, two students from the same college dating, friends with benefits, that person you make out with if you end up at the same party, or, which seemed the most prevalent at my college, two college students from the same college who officially date for awhile but breakup and still have sex, this post-breakup relationship lasting far longer than the "real" one.
Sometimes, rarely, both parties involved were adults about it. By "adults" I mean somewhat realistic, knowing that it was a temporary situation until one or the other moved on and/or found someone else. Inevitable awkwardness would ensue, but it wouldn't last long. Granted, the moving on would have occurred much sooner if they'd have stopped sleeping together, but different strokes I guess. Most of the time, though, one or both parties were fooling themselves. Sometimes both fooled themselves into thinking they were "adults" who could simply stop when they decided to, who were over the other and simply passing time in a pleasurable way. However, in most cases, the post-breakup "relationship" persisted because the person who got dumped still had feelings for the dumper, and the dumper still wanted the dumped to have feelings for him or her; the dumped fooled himself or herself into thinking they were going to get back together and that the other person actually cared.
Thankfully, I actually never found myself in this particular situation. Well, not the college and sex part anyway.
side note
When I went to school I fell into the "college student dating a college student from another college" category, and, even worse, a carryover relationship from high school. A few months into academia I was given an ultimatum by my significant other, one which neither of us were willing to budge on, so he broke up with me. So I cut him off basically completely. The breakup was inevitable, I know now, since what I perceived as/forced to be a relationship he had intended to be a fling (yes, I know you expected it to be the other way around). I initially cut him off completely out of stubborness, because he had said he wanted to still be close friends and I stopped being his friend to punish him. Turns out this was the right way to go anyway, even if my intentions were cruel. I no doubt would have been the one fooling herself into believing we would get back together.
side note over
However, I likely feel close to this last scenario because my husband found himself in a similar situation, long before me of course. It made him completely miserable. Do I have a point? I don't know. Do I have instructions? Yes.
If you are the dumper: If you have any amount of decency or any sense of kindness end the relationship when you ended the relationship. You know this is the right thing to do. Sure, the relapse may be comfortable, and you may actually think you are doing the other person a favor. You aren't. You are making it so much worse. No matter what the other person says, if he or she proposes the post-breakup relationship tell him or her NO. If you have proposed or initiated the post-breakup relationship, get over yourself and end it. Fewer things in this world are crueler than to break up with someone and then not let him or her go. You are selfish and manipulative. Stop it now (if you are actually capable of not being selfish and manipulative).
If you are the dumped: If you are thinking of pursuing a post-breakup relationship, DON'T. This means you still have feelings for the person, and you are fooling yourself if you think this would help more than hurt. He or she broke up with you; this person does not want to be with you. If this person is not letting you move on, call him or her out (feel free to use some bad names if necessary). If this person has proposed a post-breakup relationship, run far, far away. Warn your friends. I know it sounds good right now, but you will be miserable. Run. Away. Make sure to get your things back first. If you really believe you two are meant to be, which you probably believe if the breakup is new, it's better to have a clean break now or you will forever resent him or her, and then never really be meant to be. If you can't run away, hopefully you have some friends who will at least try to help.
Webster's defines "closure" as "an often comforting or satisfying sense of finality." You will never get this from the other person. Closure, if it in fact exists, comes from being away from the other person, from starting a new routine, from reconnecting with old friends you may have pushed away (which in a healthy relationship doesn't happen, by the way), from finding new interests. If all else fails, give me a call and we'll hang out.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Jesus said:
Marriage is between a man and a woman.
Well, at least some Texas pastor who was just on the Early Show would have you believe. Jesus in fact did not say this, but he did preach, often, against false prophets.
This is the passage they'll use:
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
Matthew 19: 2-12 (NIV)
1. For obvious reasons they were male and female in the beginning. Not so much of an issue right now.
2. Jesus never actually said "marriage is between a man and a woman"; it's just how it was; there was no need to distinguish. Marriage was primarily for producing children. I'd say most people today (except for Mike Huckabee) would argue that marriage is for a little more than that. So, not so much of an issue now.
3. I bet Rev. Texas is just fine with divorce, which is actually what Jesus was talking about here. We've rightly amended the "except fors" to allow women as well as men to leave an unhealthy marriage. I say it's time for the "eunuchs" who were so clearly born that way to receive the same compassion. Pick and choose and pick and choose. To quote Jack Black as Jesus, if we're going to pick and choose anyway, why can't we choose love?
4. Women's lib had not really happened at this point, so telling a man to stay with his wife was a really progressive social stance that protected women.
And no matter what they say, taking away the right of marriage is based on hate. They'll say it's based on the Bible, but you know better. Read about "traditional" marriage in the Old Testament and then laugh at the next person who says they want to protect traditional marriage based on the Bible. And make sure you aren't wearing two different fabrics.
And here, as you'd guess, is a video:
Well, at least some Texas pastor who was just on the Early Show would have you believe. Jesus in fact did not say this, but he did preach, often, against false prophets.
This is the passage they'll use:
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."
The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
Matthew 19: 2-12 (NIV)
1. For obvious reasons they were male and female in the beginning. Not so much of an issue right now.
2. Jesus never actually said "marriage is between a man and a woman"; it's just how it was; there was no need to distinguish. Marriage was primarily for producing children. I'd say most people today (except for Mike Huckabee) would argue that marriage is for a little more than that. So, not so much of an issue now.
3. I bet Rev. Texas is just fine with divorce, which is actually what Jesus was talking about here. We've rightly amended the "except fors" to allow women as well as men to leave an unhealthy marriage. I say it's time for the "eunuchs" who were so clearly born that way to receive the same compassion. Pick and choose and pick and choose. To quote Jack Black as Jesus, if we're going to pick and choose anyway, why can't we choose love?
4. Women's lib had not really happened at this point, so telling a man to stay with his wife was a really progressive social stance that protected women.
And no matter what they say, taking away the right of marriage is based on hate. They'll say it's based on the Bible, but you know better. Read about "traditional" marriage in the Old Testament and then laugh at the next person who says they want to protect traditional marriage based on the Bible. And make sure you aren't wearing two different fabrics.
And here, as you'd guess, is a video:
Thursday, December 18, 2008
A purpose-driven inauguration
So Barack Obama picked Rick Warren to deliver the invocation at the inauguration. This makes me sad.
To quote Sarah Posner from The Nation:
"Warren is not only a slap in the face to progressive ministers toiling on the front lines of advocacy and service but a bow to the continuing influence of the religious right in American politics. Warren vocally opposes gay marriage, does not believe in evolution, has compared abortion to the Holocaust and backed the assassination of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad."
I guess pissing people like me off is one way for Obama to say, in 2012, to the evangelical "Christians" whom he will be courting/coddlingbecausetheyarebabies, "Look how I pissed people like her off."
At least the Reverend Dr. Joseph Lowery is delivering the benediction. Is it to coddle me? Probably.
I know he's supposed to be everyone's president, but I want him to be my president. MINE! Diplomacy shmiplomacy.
And since my new favorite thing is to post videos in my blog, here is one on the topic from Anderson Cooper 360, mostly because I love him.
To quote Sarah Posner from The Nation:
"Warren is not only a slap in the face to progressive ministers toiling on the front lines of advocacy and service but a bow to the continuing influence of the religious right in American politics. Warren vocally opposes gay marriage, does not believe in evolution, has compared abortion to the Holocaust and backed the assassination of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad."
I guess pissing people like me off is one way for Obama to say, in 2012, to the evangelical "Christians" whom he will be courting/coddlingbecausetheyarebabies, "Look how I pissed people like her off."
At least the Reverend Dr. Joseph Lowery is delivering the benediction. Is it to coddle me? Probably.
I know he's supposed to be everyone's president, but I want him to be my president. MINE! Diplomacy shmiplomacy.
And since my new favorite thing is to post videos in my blog, here is one on the topic from Anderson Cooper 360, mostly because I love him.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
'Tis the Season
It's the time of year for hope and self-reflection. Sundays are lent to preparation for the coming joy. And, like every year about this time - some years it happens earlier, some years later - the hope disappears and expectations shift. To the Indianapolis Colts. Because the Bills cannot possibly make the playoffs.
Go Peyton!
Go Peyton!
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
I love you, but
When I find (or am told about, in this case) an interesting Web site, I like to share. So today I'm sharing a Web site called "I Love You But" at http://www.loveyoubut.com/. It's a site dedicated to the moments in relationships when you "realize you don't love someone completely, because there is one little thing that keeps bothering you."
For example, those who have been in relationships with me could say, "I love you, but you think people actuallly read your blog," or "I love you, but you always get angry about misused apostrophes," or "I love you, but you laugh at your own jokes." These are of course the worst things about me.
So, if you feel so moved, leave me a comment and share about these moments in your, um, past relationships. It'll be fun for all.
Since it's only fair, here are some from my relationships:
I love you, but you don't fight back.
I love you, but you order Zima.
I love you, but you know know me too well.
Fun for all.
For example, those who have been in relationships with me could say, "I love you, but you think people actuallly read your blog," or "I love you, but you always get angry about misused apostrophes," or "I love you, but you laugh at your own jokes." These are of course the worst things about me.
So, if you feel so moved, leave me a comment and share about these moments in your, um, past relationships. It'll be fun for all.
Since it's only fair, here are some from my relationships:
I love you, but you don't fight back.
I love you, but you order Zima.
I love you, but you know know me too well.
Fun for all.
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