Harvey's Playbook: Let's Use It

Last month I watch the movie Milk. Having worked at a publishing company that among its specialties included gay and lesbian issues, I edited many books and articles on the subject, so I was familiar with the man and meaning of Harvey Milk. One of Harvey's strategies for advancing gay and lesbian rights was a plea to every gay person to come out of the closet, for every gay person to live openly and unashamed (since "hiding" only confirmed its shamefulness in society's eyes).

What if the pastors of the United Methodist Church did this? What if every gay clergy member came out and forced the Church to "defrock" them?

I am a straight layperson, so I cannot and will not make this plea. If all copy editors could be copy editors only if they had blue eyes, would I take out my tinted contacts to reveal my brown eyes? Until I'm put in a similar situation, I will not be the one to tell gay pastors to come out. But I will ask you - everyone - to think, what if? Whatever the number, the United Methodist church would lose a lot of great pastors, because being openly gay based on our discipline means you cannot serve as pastor. Voters at General Conference would be moved by awareness, the awareness and truth that helps erase fear. My goal in any of my arguments is not a boycott of the United Methodist Church; I want the United Methodist Church to recognize the error of our embarrassing "don't ask don't tell" policy, to, based on our belief in Jesus and God, allow gays and lesbians the same chance as straight people to become ordained and local pastors and deacons.

The Bible is full of human wisdom and examples of God's love. It's also full of outdated advice and laws applicable only to the time and place in which they were written. We do a great disservice to the writers of the Bible and God when we pretend otherwise. This includes the issue of homosexuality.

Now I want you to imagine the day the first openly gay person becomes an ordained minister. If this scares you, I want you to think about why. You'll recognize it is a problem within yourself and only within yourself - which is okay; you'll get over it. Those of you who feel like I do, know that it will be kind of awesome.

I don't feel this way or argue for gay rights, gay marriage, gay clergy to piss Christians off. I do it because I am a Christian, and can't, based on my beliefs, imagine feeling any other way.

And no religion too . . .

John Lennon in "Imagine" asked us to imagine that there is no heaven. Well, what if we imagined there were only heaven?

Free will allowed us to choose to leave the proverbial garden. Free will is the same thing that will bring us back. Us. Here. Now. I'm not going to tell you how to do this; you already know.

Ready. Set. Go.

[Insert line from song about New York City here.]

You may have heard me say in the past, and I think I've even said in this blog, that if I had to live in a city - besides Binghamton - I would pick Boston. This I chose out of the full-on cities I had spent time in: Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, New York City, Philadelphia, and Pittsburgh (but my friends from Pittsburgh are so cool that they could live in a sewer and it would give the sewer an unfair advantage). I've spent time in Chattanooga, Louisville, Nashville, and Toronto, but not enough to officially judge (but I'd pick Louisville). Portland (OR) and Miami can now be added to this list of cities I've spent enough time in to validly judge my desire/ability to live there (Portland wins). What's my point?

I've changed. I've felt it coming on for about a year. I realized it when Tim started applying to grad schools. When deciding what schools to apply to we took into account the quality of the school and whether or not we'd want to live where the college was located. I surprised myself when Boston pretty quickly disappeared from our list and New York City quickly hit the top spot. Tim had picked colleges in noncities too, but for this discussion I'm sticking to cities.

Maybe it's because I haven't visited in a while, but I think I liked Boston so much because it didn't feel like a city to me. Now, I'm ready for a city (though Morningside Heights is decidedly out of the Times-Square-like NYC), and I'm happy it's New York City. Though I never pursued it, I always just assumed I'd live in New York City at some point.

To reassure you, I will not attempt to be a "cool" city dweller. If you've met me even once, you know how hard it would be for me to be a NYC hipster. If you ask me where the new coolest anything is, I will not be able to tell you. I'm looking forward to finding a favorite (1) low key bar with microbrews, (2) place to get bagels, (3) place to get black and white cookies - no these are NOT half-moon cookies, and (4) place to work outside of the apartment. Also, attending a new church will be an interesting and I hope fun experience. My friend Leslie plays handbells at two-blocks-away Riverside Church, so we will definitely be visiting there. Libraries, museums, book readings, people watching, theater, etc. I know will keep me busy and likely make it hard for me to get my work done. I'll try to pace myself.

Water, water everywhere

Teachers College is 75% women. How often should I make Tim wear his "My heart belongs to a copy editor" shirt?

I am sitting in the morning at the diner on the corner . . .

It's officially official: Tim will be going to Columbia Teacher's College this September, which means we will be living in New York City, in Morningside Heights to be exact. Saturday we found out we received student housing, which was awesome news. As you might expect, our NYC apartment will be significantly smaller than our current apartment, so we'll be looking for storage in the next couple of months. (If you know of any good places let me know.) I'm really excited for this. Mostly because I can contribute to overheardinny.com.

Don't worry - I will not be creating a Tim and Tara in the City blog.

Really bad cakes

Since I'm a sharer, I will share with you a new funny blog I was reading (using to procrastinate) this morning: http://www.cakewrecks.com/. I bet you can guess what it's about, so I won't waste time describing it. I will, however, waste time telling you a cake story.

One August for my brother Jason's birthday we appropriately ordered him a cake and appropriately requested that "Happy Birthday Jason" be written on it. The order taker, after I told him what I wanted written on the cake, repeated my request in the form of a question, to which I verified by stating, "Yes, Happy Birthday Jason." Normally a trustworthy place to buy cakes, I did not open the opaque box until I returned home. When the box was opened, we saw the cake for the first time. It read "Happy Birthday Jafon."

Yes, the letter "s" when spoken through the telephone does sound like "f." But if you didn't ask for a specific spelling, were not 100% sure, and wanted to err on the side of caution, would you choose "Jafon" over "Jason"? Something to think about.

Race for the Cure

On Sunday, May 17, I will be running the Susan G. Komen 5K Race for the Cure in Elmira (then showering and taking the kiddies up to Sky Lake Open House, of course). Susan G. Komen for the Cure is a nonprofit, grassroots network of breast cancer survivors and activists working together to save lives, empower people, ensure quality care for all, and energize science to find the cure. If you'd like to support me and, more important, this cause, please donate here: http://www.active.com/donate/twintierskomen09/TBarnes29.

Thanks!

Facebook quizzes

are pointless, self-indulgent, and wonderful. According to Facebook, I'm Ghandi, John Wesley, St. Jude, Weezer, Kermit the Frog, Elizabeth Bennett, Jean Grey, Tolstoy, Patrick Henry, the Gospel of Luke, Fidel Castro, and I should have married Johnny Depp. So worth the time taken to find this out.

Properly extending words:

Why, why, why, when someone wants to stretch out the sound of a word, do they just add extra final letters? Usually this is an "e" (or sometimes, even stupider, "t"). With the "e," all this does is turn a usually silent letter into an extra syllable, making the word a different word altogether and misspelled.

Some examples:
"I'm homeeeeee!"
Meaning: homey. If you say this, you are either (1) a homeboy, (2) homelike, or (3) homely. Maybe all three.
What you should say: "I'm hooooommme!"

"I loveeeee the Muppets."
Meaning: lovey. Also an adjective. If you say this in this way, you are misusing an adjective, which is really embarrassing, and also using a nonexistent word. "Lovey" appears in Webster's dictionary only as "lovey-dovey."
What you should say: "I looooovvve the Muppets!"

When is extending the last letter okay? With words that end in vowels and y, h, r, s, z, w, and sometimes f (but only when abbreviating one specific word).
Boooo! Hisssss! I love Taraaaaa! I love Crocodile Dundeeeee! Whyyyyyy? I'm wearing FuBuuuuu! Spaz Boy is such a spazzzzzz!

If "Free Falling" by Tom Petty is now in your head, you're welcome.

Christian Charity Raising Money To Feed Non-Gay Famine Victims

Go Lions!

In a few weeks Tim and I are heading down to NYC for the official tour of Teacher's College. We're doing the whole shebang: financial aid, lunch with students, campus tour, and campus housing tour. Tim is 99.9% sure this is where he wants to be, and we're taking the tour to hopefully solidify the last .1%.

Yes, Columbia is expensive. And as we've consistently proven, we haven't exactly established a brimming college fund (and also took a train trip and bought B-Mets tickets; I like to spend money on experiences . . . or I'm just hedonistic). However, we've found out that the government, via loans of course, will cover all tuition and housing costs. Tim applied for scholarships and grants through the school as well, which we find out about later this month. Positive thinking is back in effect. Let me know if you know of any available scholarships!

We decided before we got married that we were okay with living in college-loan debt. This "comfort," we'll call it, is helping make the Columbia decision as well. It's frickin Columbia! (With a 98% job placement rate for Teacher's College.) Someday we will pay the loans off, even if "someday" gets pushed back a bit further.

A branch of my gym is nearby, and I've been investigating United Methodist Churches to attend. So far, this one seems to be my best bet. I haven't really begun thinking about what it will mean to be moving away and how much I'm going to miss being where I am right now. I'll do that in August.

Week 2

Today finished week 2 of my half marathon training. This week I ran outside, and was lucky enough to have the weather cooperate. Today was the four mile run. What makes running outside different from the treadmill are the inclines and declines, needing to share the path with other people and animals, and no televisions (which serve as wonderful distractions for someone who doesn't have cable). However, the hardest part about running outdoors is pacing. Even when I set my pace to a song I know is the pace I want I always end up going too fast and feeling completely pooped by mile 2. Then I slow down, try not to be embarrassed by my heavy breathing, and plow through, chugga chugga chugga.

The Lake Placid half marathon officially doesn't allow headphones. I'm a little worried about this and will likely try to sneak through with some little earbuds. Don't tell. I have realized that running is a good time to pray, but pretty soon I get really bored with my own thoughts and worries and need to move on--probably how you feel when you read this blog too often.

I've also begun to approach food differently. It's become more than just something to eat when I'm hungry. I actually think about the nutrients, vitamins, protein, blah blah blahs now when I have meals and snack because I actually have to. Needless to say I'm eating a little better and including foods I wouldn't normally (but I am having macaroni and cheese and hot dogs for dinner tonight, so don't worry; I haven't changed completely). It's a little weird. I may start buying energy bars for a purpose other than being too lazy to make lunch.

I probably won't be writing about EVERY week of training, mostly because it's boring to everyone but me. Notice here that I said "probably." Just saying.

Sad day in Binghamton

Yesterday sucked. I don't have a story to tell. I don't have insight or enlightenment or anything special to say about yesterday's "Massacre on Front Street," "Bloodshed in Binghamton," or whatever you want to call it. I'm not going to write here how I feel right now about the shooter, who lived a short walk away from me. I'm really just writing this for posterity. Binghamton, NY, was the top story on national and international news outlets on April 3, 2009, and it really, really sucked.

These little town blues . . .

Today we found out that Tim got accepted by Columbia University! Woo hoo! Barring this being a really cruel April Fool's joke, I am really excited. Columbia is ranked #4 by U.S. News and World Report as the best graduate school for education. Tim's approach to teaching, education, and, well, life, is very similar to John Dewey's, on whom Teacher's College's mission is based. If this is where we decide to go, I have a feeling it will be a really good fit for Tim.

Either way, I'm pretty sure we are city bound.

Columbia to Met's games = about an hour subway ride.
NYU to Met's games = about 40 minute subway ride.
The difference is negligable.

Week 1

I started marathon training this week. My first run on Tuesday kicked my butt, mostly because my pace was way too fast. I've since adjusted and feel a little more confident. I do need to buy new sneakers, though, since I've developed some pretty nice blisters on my feet. Tomorrow is four miles. Bring it on. (My approach right now is to taunt the miles, fight them, and defeat them. As the miles grow and the half marathon gets closer, I'm hoping the miles and I will reach an agreement and learn to enjoy each other's company.)

Photos of train trip

If you're interested, I've added some photos of our trip to our trip blog.

The future of everything

Yesterday on Morning Edition was a story on the future of figher pilots, on how military planes exist now that can be piloted from the ground by remote. The interviewer and interviewee talked about the future of warfare as if they were talking about the future of television or cars, as if war were an inevitable and appropriate venue for technological advancement.

Why aren't we envisioning and ASSUMING a future without war? Every time I participate in the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life they say, "Hope we don't see you next year," meaning that they hope cancer is cured and we'll no longer need to raise money for research. Why can't we approach war as something to cure, not as something to spread in the most efficient way? I puke in my mouth a little every time I think of how much money and intelligence is wasted on war and warfare and how much better the world would be if our energy went elsewhere. Like toward curing cancer.

The more I live and seek success and goodness the more I realize that we have it all wrong. My husband argues that we are Darwinist beings who will kill or be killed until we are all killed. He thinks our current state is our natural state. I don't believe this. If I did, I would never want to have children (which I do, someday) nor would I seek anything else in life besides wealth and physical health. This is not our natural state. We have chosen this state, and we can choose to return to Good. It's hard - I'm not by any means Good, but I could get there with help.

What should we do about it? I don't know. Spend money better? Seek education more? Eliminate borders? Share the REAL good news (which is that it doesn't have to be this way)? If you know tell me and I'll help you.

Home

We're back from our trip. I'll post pictures this week (or next).

Coming Together for the Common Good

Tonight at 8:00 p.m. begins the annual 40-hour fast for change sponsored by the Labor-Religion Coalition of New York State. The fast ends Friday March 6 at noon. The goals of this fast are sacrifice (food - even missing one meal can help a person refocus his or her priorities), pray (for public officials making important decisions), and communicate (to others about why you are fasting: "an end to wage theft, a shrinking of the wage gap and increased attention to 'the least among us'").

A local ecumenical prayer service will be held tonight at 7:00 at Sarah Jane Johnson United Methodist Church in Johnson City, NY. A statewide event, this local event is sponsored by Broome County Council of Churches, Clergy for Peace, Catholic Community’s Justice and Peace Advisory Council, Social Justice Network of the Wyoming Annual Conference of The United Methodist Church, and Just Faith Group at the First United Methodist Church of Endicott. For a list of events throughout New York, visit this Web site: http://www.labor-religion.org/fast09-statewide-events.htm.