Thursday, April 23, 2009

Properly extending words:

Why, why, why, when someone wants to stretch out the sound of a word, do they just add extra final letters? Usually this is an "e" (or sometimes, even stupider, "t"). With the "e," all this does is turn a usually silent letter into an extra syllable, making the word a different word altogether and misspelled.

Some examples:
"I'm homeeeeee!"
Meaning: homey. If you say this, you are either (1) a homeboy, (2) homelike, or (3) homely. Maybe all three.
What you should say: "I'm hooooommme!"

"I loveeeee the Muppets."
Meaning: lovey. Also an adjective. If you say this in this way, you are misusing an adjective, which is really embarrassing, and also using a nonexistent word. "Lovey" appears in Webster's dictionary only as "lovey-dovey."
What you should say: "I looooovvve the Muppets!"

When is extending the last letter okay? With words that end in vowels and y, h, r, s, z, w, and sometimes f (but only when abbreviating one specific word).
Boooo! Hisssss! I love Taraaaaa! I love Crocodile Dundeeeee! Whyyyyyy? I'm wearing FuBuuuuu! Spaz Boy is such a spazzzzzz!

If "Free Falling" by Tom Petty is now in your head, you're welcome.