An update on my life.

I just finished my second cup of company coffee and didn't barf and/or die.

Attention church girls:

The lovely Rev. Sara Baron is hosting a workshop this Saturday for young adult women of the Methodist church (and friends) on the topic of sexuality and the church. It is from 12:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. at Centenary-Chenango UMC in Binghamton. No doubt it will be informative and interesting. Unfortunately, I've posted this info a few days after the RSVP deadline (but do it anyway!), and I can't attend (because I'll be at a three-year-old's Halloween party in Philadelphia), but I wanted to share this information with others because I think you should go. Here is the flyer:

The Commission on the Status and Role of Women

of the Wyoming Annual Conference invites

United Methodist young women (ages 18 to 35)

to an afternoon workshop on:
Sexuality and the Church

How does the UMC understand sex and sexuality?
What guidance can the UMC offer on living life as moral sexual beings?
How does our sexuality impact our spirituality? and visa versa?
What does it mean to be a sexual being – and a single Christian woman?
What does it mean to be a sexual being – and a married Christian woman?

We’ll gather at 12:00 with a free lunch provided by the Centenary-Chenango Street UMC, hear talks on Christian sexuality in single and partnered life, break into groups to discuss the talks, and join together again to worship as a large group.

INFORMATION:
12:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.
October 27th, 2007
Centenary Chenango Street UMC
438 Chenango Street
Binghamton, NY

For all United Methodist young adult women and any female friends they want to bring.
Please RSVP to s.baron@gmail.com or 607-263-5152 (Rev. Sara Baron) by October 20th.

NOT One Day Monday

But it is the fall fund drive for WSKG. Call 1-877-975-9754 or visit http://www.wskg.org/ and give them some money so I don't have to keep listening to them ask for it. And because you support public television and radio? But mostly so I can listen to Steve Inskeep's sweet, sweet, informative voice uninterrupted. I already gave my pledge. And I get an awesome travel mug for pledging. (Well, I'll get it next November, since my gift arrives six to eight weeks after my pledge is paid in full, and my pledge is paid monthly for a year--but good news: I should be getting my NPR laptop bag from last year's pledge any day now! Woo hoo! I hope my antiquated laptop fits in it.)

Okay, Steve's back on. Gotta go.

One year

Today, besides being the anniversary of the Peronist revolution in Argentina in 1945, is the one year anniversary of my blog. My blog is a year old today. Happy birthday, blog.

Blog Action Day

I've signed up to participate in Blog Action Day, a movement to get all bloggers to blog on the same subject for one day. This year's topic: the environment. I'd like to thank Al Gore for winning the Nobel Peace Prize for his role in raising awareness for the consequences of global climate change; it makes this easy.

In preparation for this blog entry I went to Google News and typed in "climate change." Mr. Gore dominated the articles listed, which only supports how beneficial it is to have him as a spokesperson for this issue. For some reason, many, many people do not like Al. But even those trying to discredit him give him and the climate change issue publicity (Al dislikers: keep it up--and he'll continue to prove you wrong.)

New York Times op-ed columnist Paul Krugman wrote a great article today on Al and his decractors. He notes that the Wall Street Journal didn't even mention Al Gore's winning of the Nobel Peace Prize, and instead made a list of all the people who deserved it instead. National Review Online writer Iain Murray likened Al Gore to a terrorist because Osama bin Laden is also against global warming. Mr. Krugman offers analyses of why Al his so hated, and how he's overcome it all. However you feel about Al, it's an interesting read.

Sharing the prize with Al is the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. Al has made sure to mention this group in every public statement about the prize. So I would like to also give credit to them here. The Vancouver Sun offers an article about one of the involved scientists, Professor John Robinson, or "Dr. Sustainability" as he is called. He's been fighting to raise awareness since the early 1980s, and is happy it's finally getting the recognition it demands. Dr. R.K. Pachauri, head of the panel, has appealed to developing economies such as India and China to develop new, more environmentally friendly technology, and to stop their current consumption and pollution patterns; developed countries are not good examples to follow. The panel's report titled "The Physical Science Basis of Climate Change" can be found here. On February 2nd of this year the panel presented that global warming was unequivocally occurring, and was the result of human activity. An international, bipartisan effort, the panel finally got the world to open their eyes. On February 2, 2007. Hopefully it's not too late.

So if you don't want to listen to me, listen to the scientists. If you don't want to listen to Al Gore, listen to the scientists. What they'll say in much more elegant and intelligent ways is: Stop being so selfish and ignorant! The consequences are going to kill more than trees and animals and Democrats.

I didn't forget about you, Al. Congratulations on the Nobel Peace Prize. I knew you had it in you.

Let's go Mets!

At trivia last night we talked briefly about post-season baseball, and how much we cared. None of our teams are in it. Everyone’s go-to the Cubs are out. Well, what about Boston? Some said yes. I said no.

Why? The Red Sox new curse: they are becoming just like the Yankees. In the past few years since the “curse” was lifted, Boston and their fans have left a progressively sourish taste in my mouth. I still choose the Red Sox over the Yankees, but I think it's because I choose anybody over the Yankees, even the Braves.

To justify all I say on the matter: I have both Yankee-fan friends and Red Sox–fan friends. (This makes what I say okay, okay?) But, Boston’s argument about the Yankees being the evil empire is bordering on hypocritical. Boston is second in payroll only to the Yankees; they are the second highest paid team in Major League Baseball according to 2006 statistics, higher paid than 28 other teams. And maybe it’s just me, but when I think of the Yankees, I don’t immediately think of Boston. However, when I think of Boston, I immediately think of the Yankees—their team identity is so dependent on the Yankees.

Many times I’ve walked the streets of Boston and have seen “Jeter Sucks” T-shirts. Never have I seen anyone selling or wearing “[Boston player] Sucks” T-shirts. (The brackets are because Boston has a high player turnover rate—the Yankees have more continuity. Sox fans can wear their Jeter shirt for years. Because Yankees are well paid, yes, but so are Boston players....) Maybe I need to get out more. I don't know.

The history of the rivalry is deep, and begins with the cities themselves: Boston vs. NYC. Patriots vs. Tories, which city is the intellectual/art/cultural center of the United States, etc. In the Boston vs. NYC argument, for me, Boston clearly without a doubt wins. I would pick to live in Boston over NYC in a heartbeat, maybe in even less time. I have many reasons for this, which I'll spare you. Moving on. In the beginning of the league, Boston was clearly the superior team. Then, as we all know, Babe Ruth got traded to the Yankees, and thus the curse was placed. The Yankees went on with their lives. The Red Sox did not.

So, help me out, Red Sox fans. Give me some non-Yankee reasons why I should like your team and why your abundant arrogance is justified. The Sox are good, yes, just as the Yankees have been year after year after year. What if the Yankees were to leave the league next year? Would you still love your team as much? I truly want to know; I'm not poking or picking. So enlighten me and bless me with understanding. Because right now, when someone asks me, Yankees or Red Sox? I'm likely to say neither.

The Church Has Left the Building

Below is an article I wrote that will be appearing tomorrow in the local Press and Sun Bulletin. (Update: you can find it here.) It can also be found on the Wyoming Conference Web site.

The Church Has Left the Building

If you intended to attend Sunday morning worship at Park Terrace Community United Methodist Church on Sunday September 23, you arrived at the church to find that worship had been canceled. Large signs in the church’s front lawn informed you that the Church had left the building. What? They just painted the choir room. Nursery school just started. The bills are paid and pews are comfy—why would they leave the building? You turn into the parking lot and notice it is full of cars. Maybe the signs are a joke. As you walk through the open church doors you find a lady in a bright red shirt sitting behind a table in the entryway. You hear sewing machines humming and dishes clinking in the fellowship hall. Babies are making noises down the hallway. A group of people are leaving the church. Noticing your confusion, the lady in the bright red shirt explains to you that instead of worship, the congregation has decided to spend the morning out doing community service. The church is still being used, but the Church has left the building.

On her table are a list of projects: yard cleanup, handicap ramp building, home rehabilitation, child care, sewing walker bags for a local nursing home, visiting nursing homes, feed-the-hungry, planting a flagpole garden at a fire station, baking cookies for soldiers, painting, and a bottle drive to raise money to help train landmine sniffing dogs. So much for remembering the sabbath and keeping it holy.

But wait—aren’t these services holy too? Does holiness occur in only church sanctuaries? The Pharisees confronted Jesus with a similar question regarding proper observation of the sabbath, to which he replied, "Suppose one of you has only one sheep and it falls into a pit on the sabbath; will you not lay hold of it and life it out? How much more valuable is a human being than a sheep! So it is lawful to do good on the sabbath" (Matthew 12: 11-13, NRSV).

One hundred and one Park Terrace congregation members tried to help pull sheep out of a pit on Sunday September 23. From 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. the Church, in bright red shirts, was cooking breakfast or pounding nails or sorting bottles or listening to an elder’s story. The Church was sawing wood or removing brush or painting a shed or cleaning out gutters or watering plants. The Church was mixing dough or threading needles or washing dishes. The Church was earning its capital C, out in the world as Jesus had done. Jesus never went to Sunday morning service at a Christian church.

Each group began their project with a common devotional, focusing on Matthew 25: 34-45. Pastor Nick Keeney asked the groups to focus on missions being about people, not production, asking how our work would focus on people, how does reaching out to neighbors affect our relationships with God, why were participating.

The ramp and home rehab projects began the Saturday before. Along with the yard cleanup, these opportunities for service were discovered through Tioga Opportunities, Department of Aging Services. Roger Kinney, team leader for the ramp building, explained that Tioga Opportunities has an unlimited number of projects available for the service-minded, but that most of all they are need of funds. So if nail gunning is not your thing, a monetary donation is just as welcome. Tioga Opportunities Department of Aging Services is located at 9 Sheldon Guile Boulevard, in the Countryside Community Center in Owego, NY. Their phone number is 607-687-4120.

Cooking at First Methodist in Endicott, NY, began at 7:30 a.m. Breakfast was served at 8:30. This is a free breakfast that is offered every Sunday morning to the community. According to Jan Borrows, weekly organizer and member of First Methodist, about thirty to fifty people a week attend the meals. Most people who attend work full time, but the income they earn is not enough to support themselves or their families. Jan hopes that breakfasts such as First Methodist's will help people realize that the divide between the haves and have nots is still a large one, and it’s not because the have nots are not doing nothing to better their situation. People who receive breakfast on Sunday morning are not required to attend worship services, but they are welcome. Jan sees the breakfasts as a chance to put words into actions. She said her aim was to “feed their souls and feed their stomachs.”

The yard cleanup project took place a few miles from the church, and was being done for a lifelong firefighter who, due to health problems, could no longer perform maintenance. This was the task of on grandest scale of the day, with brush removal, gutter cleaning, tree limb removal, and general lawn care. When I asked seventh grader Stephen Lewis, who was helping with the yard cleanup, what he thought about canceling worship, he said he was okay with it, explaining, “I got to skip church to cut stuff up.” But he returned to heart of the matter by also saying, “I think Jesus would be proud of us.”

Back at the church groups were busy baking cookies for soldiers and jailed youth, sewing walker bags for local nursing homes, and sewing potholders for Sky Lake Camp and Retreat Center. Others were donating their time offering child care. Another group was sorting bottles collected from a bottle drive. Not only were these bottle drivers raising money to train landmine sniffing dogs, they were raising awareness. The group handed out flyers to those who, after hearing what the bottles were for, asked “huh?” The flyers explained that landmines currently litter the Angolan countryside, an estimated about one to eight million mines in an area the size of Texas. Angolans live at constant risk of losing limbs and lives. This project is supported by UMCOR, and you can get more information by visiting http://gbgm-umc.org/UMCOR/emergency/landmines.stm.

Two groups went to nursing homes during the day, organizing worship services and visiting with residents. Another group painted a rundown shed in Owego, NY. Another group helped serve dinner at the Salvation Army in Binghamton, NY. The night ended with a gathering at the church at 7:00 p.m., during which the day’s stories were told, hymns were sung, and ice cream was eaten. At the day’s end, calluses nursed, cookies packaged, structures built, Park Terrace went home knowing they kept the Sabbath holy.

Pierogy capital: Binghamton

Mrs. T's is holding a competition for the Capital of the Pierogy Pocket of America, and Binghamton is in the running. Go here and vote every day. If Binghamton wins, it will bring world peace. Your vote is important.

Voting lasts until October 23.

Press & Sun article

P.S. Binghamton will get a sweet banner and win $10,000, which will be donated to C.H.O.W.

Absolutely nothing.

Seven active-duty soldiers wrote an article for the New York Times titled
"The War As we Saw It," which appeared on August 19. What a revolutionary concept to ask the opinion of people who are actually fighting the fight (and not riding a scooter on a ranch vacation or sitting at a fancy desk). You may have already read the article, and if you have, you know that one of contributors was shot in the head a week before the article came out. He is currently recovering. You may have also heard by now that two of the contributing soldiers were killed a week ago in a vehicle accident in Iraq.

Here is an excerpt from the op-ed:

To believe that Americans, with an occupying force that long ago outlived its reluctant welcome, can win over a recalcitrant local population and win this counterinsurgency is far-fetched. As responsible infantrymen and noncommissioned officers with the 82nd Airborne Division soon heading back home, we are skeptical of recent press coverage portraying the conflict as increasingly manageable and feel it has neglected the mounting civil, political and social unrest we see every day.

You can read the article here. Whatever your stance on the war, this is an insightful and smart commentary that should be listened to. It would be nice to hear more calm, researched soldier commentary. It’s too bad they are all busy at the moment.

No, really—what is is good for?

Last night as excerpts from the president’s speech were replayed on our television, my husband directed at the television his frustrated counterargument. I turned it off. I didn’t want my husband to get upset. I was tired. I am tired.

I’m glad the situation pisses my husband off. I’m glad I’m still pissed off. But I feel the lull of apathy setting in, and I wonder if it was this apathy that turned off my television last night instead of concern for my husband’s blood pressure.

But what can I do now? I can’t keep screaming: It’s not working! Start listening to the advice of others! My opinion is out there. The Bush administration knows how I feel—it’s echoed by many writers, lobbyists, Congress, and by more than half the country in polls. They don’t listen. The people who can actually change the situation aren’t listening. And the administration has put enough of “their people” into right positions so that all “news” we receive is Bush administration propaganda. Luckily, nobody believes it. Unluckily, they still get to decide and implement policy. My generation, American, Iraqi, and other, is being killed off because the Bush administration is too immature and selfish to admit they are wrong. And the soldiers are honorable enough to continue to serve this president, even if he serves only himself. Très frustrant.

I used to try to believe that the administration really did believe they were doing what was best. Even if it wasn’t working at the moment, they really did believe that the occupation would be good for both our country and for Iraq (although more for our well-being than for Iraq’s). Now I think they “stay the course” only because they don’t want the other side to be right, like an argument on the playground in fourth grade. In his speech last night (that I didn’t watch, obviously, but did read excerpts from, of course), Mr. Bush said the plan was evolving, that the “surge” is ending, that troops will be coming home, some big number by Christmas. The truth is (I learned on NPR this morning) all of these troops were scheduled to come home anyway, they just won’t be replaced now. Whoopee.

I suppose if I were a soldier, I would continue to do my duty in earnest hope that it would make a difference. As a citizen I guess I still garner some hope that this can happen, even in the mess we've made. I’d want to try to establish a healthy infrastructure for Iraq, train protective police forces, give their government time to get over their incompetence and get their act together. I’d have to believe this. I’d do it for my country, and my country is NOT my government. I admire all of the soldiers who haven’t gone AWOL. (But I hate guns and question authority, so I’d be a sucky soldier. And desert camo is, like, so not my color.)

We can’t leave yet; this I know. But we can establish a political dialogue, somehow, with all of the other countries Bush has pissed off and alienated. Iraq has oil, an interest for many countries, so that can be motivation #1. But oil or not they are not going to try to work with a man who doesn’t listen and does what he wants anyway, so a Bush apology would be motivation #2. But, obviously, this is a pipe dream. A little more peace in the Middle East can be motivation #3. Iraq’s conflict now is essentially a political one, so a political solution is needed. Really. A more realistic solution may be to call Mr. Peabody and jump in wayback machine and not invade Iraq at all. This would arguably be the most successful strategy.

Admitting we were wrong for invading Iraq would do more at this point to honor those who've died than to continue to send men and women to slaughter for lies, because any “good” reason for invading Iraq at this point will be believed a lie. This too is sucky.

Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up an Iraq will be stable, homes will have plumbing and electricity, Sunnis and Shiites will be working together on establishing a democracy, and the Iraqi army will be so well-trained, powerful, and fair that the so-called insurgents would take up knitting instead. Then I'll very, very gladly admit how wrong I was to doubt the Bush administration.

The New England Cheetahs

(Sorry, I'm keeping the title.)

So far I’ve heard it called “Cameragate,” “Spygate,” “Videogate.” It’s all speculation now—nothing has been proven—but New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick did offer an apology yesterday “to everyone who has been affected” by his “interpretation of the rules.” A vague apology at best, with no clear admission of guilt, but the sports world has certainly addressed the hot topic of the Patriots being caught illegally videotaping the Jets play signals.

I’m not a Patriots fan. I skirted fandom when Drew Bledsoe was their quarterback (but only after Buffalo was totally out, of course), but with the departure of Drew my apathy toward Bill Belichick changed to dislike. Besides my distaste for Bill’s disrespectful sideline attire (he looks like he just woke up, and not in the hot Colin Farrell way), I in spite of myself respected his decision making and coaching abilities, even if he was wearing sloppy gray sweatpants. Perhaps his talent is the root of my dislike, since the Patriots are the Bills’ AFC East conference mates and we more often than not lose to them.

In the past couple years opposing teams have been amazed by the Patriots and the quarterback Tom Brady’s ability to read the defense and defy it. Players and fans alike have been astounded by New England’s superb play calling. Belichick has been called “genius.” The Patriots did their homework and were a worthy adversary.

Fortunately, unlike war and love, not all is fair. The NFL has rules, and is a strong proponent of “equal opportunity.” The salary cap, the draft process, the constant drug testing, all attempt to give each team and equal chance every season to make the Super Bowl. New England, like Dallas before them, has been so celebrated because winning a Super Bowl more than one year in a row is a difficult accomplishment (as is winning the AFC championship four years in a row, going to the Super Bowl four years in a row, but I digress). It’s more often the case that the team who won the Super Bowl the year before doesn’t even make the playoffs the year after. And in the NFL, you are not allowed to set up a spy camera on the opposite team's sidelines.

Unfortunately, the NFL has had a rough beginning to the season: the suspensions of Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, the Patriot’s own Rodney Harrison, Wade Wilson, etc. And the Bills lost their first game by one point (but on a happier note Kevin Everett’s doctors are convinced he’ll walk again). Now all-star coach Bill Belichick is caught cheating. Has he been doing it all along? What kind of anger will mount if this is the case?

How do you defend this? As a fan, how do you react to this?

Confusion and disappointment? This article is especially interesting since the writer points out that current Jets coach Eric Mangini was a former protégé of Belichick, a member of his inner circle, so who better to know Belichick’s tricks? Coincidence?

Shock? This one is especially important to read since the title, "A Big Fumble," is a sports metaphor.

One writer offers that Bill is the only one who has been caught. So goes the theory that he's the smartest coach in the league.

Here is an article that has compiled the opinions of many sports writers.

Tony Dungy, longtime Belichick rival, is currently mum on the topic. He’s a classy guy.

Even if the cheating can be proved for only this one time, won’t we always wonder? It’s unfortunate—and by unfortunate I mean stupid—for the Patriots if they truly have spied this one time, because we always will wonder. They’ve now tainted all they’ve earned.

I wonder how much the players knew.

Spin Doctor Needed

Roberto Gonzales is resigning. The press conference is happening this morning. I can't wait to hear why....My money is on: "Because you guys just keep bugging and bugging me I am unable to do my job."

Copyediting alert: I'm guessing Charles Schumer said that the justice department needs new leadership, not readership. (And delete the extra "announced.")

Reuters has offered up some Gonzales facts here. It's a bullet list. Enjoy.

Who is to blame?

(Besides Canada.)

The latest news I've read on products from China being recalled is pseudo-recall by Wal-Mart of a few dog treats and pseudo-recall by Toys 'R' Us of a some baby bibs. These aren't official recalls; both companies are "just checking." In addition, New Zealand has begun officially recalling some clothing products imported from China for containing poisonous levels of formaldehyde. Following Thomas the Tank Engine, Barbie and Polly Pocket (among others) can now give you lead poisoning. Toothpaste, tires, space heaters, lamps, chairs, and dog food all make the list as well, but this is old news. What's next?

To whom do I direct my anger? China for being cruel and greedy? The U.S. importers for being cruel and greedy? Did the government drop the ball, or is this oversight the responsibility of private manufacturers, buyers, distributors, and sellers? I'm going with China first, because we all know they know better. Then with the U.S. importers because obviously the toys etc. were cheaper for a reason. And Merry Christmas kids: at least 70 percent of the toys in U.S. stores are made in China (a Forbes article has this a 80 percent).

How embarrassing for China, who has launched a campaign to redeem themselves (my favorite defense regarding the Mattel recall being "well, no one got hurt"). How embarrassing for the company who sold the toys. What shameful ways to make a profit.

This special report by BusinessWeek highlights some of the most recent recalls. You may want to double-check that you aren't currently using any of these products.

Ugh. Sometimes I'm so ashamed to be a human.

This horn I'm tooting? Yeah, it's mine.

As the appointed "convener" of the BishBash 2007 I get to take credit as "leader" of the event. Although, as anyone who attended the event could see, many people did a whole lot of work and it was truly a team effort--someone just needed the head title for answering questions and taking blame :-)

The planning committee worked on BishBash from September/October 2006 until the event in July. Even with all of the late registrations and last-minute potato chip buying, everything was ready and together for the day of the event. Some people even dared to call the event organized. So I'm shamelessly taking pride in BishBash 2007, planned and executed by young adults (and the bishop of course). Anyone who helped should toot their horns too.

Here are some photos from the day and an article written on the Conference Web site. I'm quoted in the article, and sound super flaky (so don't worry: humility is balancing out my pride).
BishBash article
BishBash photos
BishBash photos

P.S. Maybe some, just some, credit should go to GOD.

What I just learned:

Bed-and-breakfast is spelled with hyphens.

It never occurred to me to look it up before, but this morning I wanted to see if the abbreviation, B&B, had spaces. (For example, R & D, research and development, should be spelled with spaces between the characters.) I learned that neither B&B nor B & B is in Webster's, but "b and b" is, so I concluded that the abbreviation needed spaces. When I looked at the definition of "b and b" I noticed the hyphens in bed-and-breakfast, looked it up, and learned something new.

Now you maybe have too. Use this knowledge to impress others. You're welcome.

One year

Last night my husband and I shared a piece of the top of our wedding cake and watched our reception video, for the first time (I'm still not ready to watch the ceremony). As I had already concluded from still pictures, my bridesmaids' bouquets and my hair were twice the size I wanted them to be, and I probably should have told the groom to have the groomsmen wear black vests instead of green so they weren't so matchy-matchy weddingy (since renting tuxes was cheaper than having the boys buy suits, even if tuxes were more formal than we wanted). And I'd do the invitations differently. That's what I'd change about the day, a year later--well, except for maybe eloping in the French Quarter as was my original plan.

We realized the best way to include our friends and family would be to have a traditional wedding. In a church (ruling out informal wedding party attire, we felt, out of respect). With a reception at a place where others did the work (ruling out the backyard picnic idea). Even our honeymoon plans changed from "hop in the car and just drive" to "stay in one spot all week," because by the time it was all said and done, the less decisions that had to be made the better.

I didn't give a crap about anything, really, on the wedding day itself: I just wanted to get married and then go have a party with my friends and family. It bothers me that I'm bothered now by the hair and flowers and formality, but I think this is because it's the wedding that everyone else reviews and scrutinizes and holds for posterity. The wedding does not matter. The vows very much matter, the promises very much matter, thanking your friends and family for their support very much matters; all the other stuff is just expensive fluff (on which conversations will be had forever).

And the pictures are nice, even if your hair is way too stiff and poofy. And even if everyone looks too much like they are in a wedding.

Happy birthday Henry!

Today is Henry David Thoreau's (190th) birthday. It was at my age, 27, that Thoreau began his stay at Walden pond. After a week away at camp, I can see the appeal.

So happy birthday Henry.
Everyone celebrate it well: Plant a bean field, watch ants, play with loons, take a walk, write in a journal, babysit for a famous writer, have your aunt bail you out of jail, make a pun, sit alone on a pumpkin, live deliberately.

Spicy

I spent all of last week counseling junior high camp at Sky Lake. This camp was Reality Camp, with each day's theme and evening competition relating to (1) a reality television show and (2) a real-life reality, such as poverty, hunger, immigration, war, slavery, etc. (Side note: Don't worry, this is not an attempt at a profound diatribe; it's okay to keep reading.) During our rendition of America's Got Talent, my group sang their camp version of the Spice Girls' "Wannabe." They did such a great job with this song that I'm posting their lyrics here. (Another side note: Many camp-specific references are made in the song, but those of you who haven't been to camp at Sky Lake will get the gist I'm sure...and you can ask me--I'll gladly share.)

So you want my pigtails?
Remember your bag.
We don’t lose our points
’cause we got our tags.
Now don’t go wastin’ my swim time.
Send Methusala to East Shore and we’ll be just fine

So tell me whatcha want whatcha really, really want.
I’ll tell you what I want what I really, really want:
I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh!
I wanna really, really, really wanna zoomy zoomy ahh.

Chorus
If you wanna be a raspberry,
you gotta become a spice.
We live in cabin A5,
and it is wicked nice!
(Repeat)

So whatcha think about horders?
Orange knows how it feels.
You say that salt warms butter—
are you for real?
Now do be hasty; get to breakfast on time.
’Cause if you don’t then two points will say good-bye.

So tell me whatcha want whatcha really, really want.
I’ll tell you what I want what I really, really want:
I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh!
I wanna really, really, really wanna zoomy zoomy ahh.
(Chorus)

Now here’s a story from West to East.
You wanna be a raz you gotta listen carefully.
We got J by the can who loves Superman.
We got R who doesn’t stop ’cause she wants her lemon drops.
We got T by the lake who is afraid of snakes.
We got K in the sand filling up the can.
We got A in the path making everybody laugh.
(Pause)
Uhh, I’m T, and I like tots. ’Cause they’re Amurican.

Grab your buddy’s hand and raise it in the air!
It’s a buddy check so wave ’em everywhere!
(Chorus)

P.S. We won the talent show.
P.P.S. During huh! the girls made the huh! game arm movements. It was awesome.
P.P.P.S. The only lyrics I contributed were "We live in cabin A5, and it is wicked nice." Moving, I know. The girls did all of the rest. Cheers to them.

My College on a Hill

This is a simple story, really, in which nobody was seriously hurt, thankfully. It does concern my college that is set on a hill. I've been trying to come up with something funny regarding "higher learning" for about the past minute and a half, but I could not. Let me know if you do.

My college is currently renovating parts of the library, involving work that requires a wrecking ball. Well, the wrecking ball cable snapped, and the huge, round chunk of metal pinballed down North Main Street, hitting parked cars and eventually landing in the trunk of an Allegheny junior. The domino effect turned this into a four-car accident. As I said, everyone is so far okay.

I have not included a link to this story, because I want you to look it up on Google News. Type in "Meadville, PA," then click on "see all stories." Here are some of the headlines:

"Escaped Wrecking Ball at Allegheny College Goes to Town"
"Wrecking Ball Wreck"
"Wrecking Ball Comes Loose and Does What It's Designed to Do"
"Meadville Mishap Defines Wrecking Ball"

The third one listed is my favorite. Notice too how many Australian news outlets covered the story. I have no theories regarding this...I just thought it was interesting. Enjoy your Google.