No, really—what is is good for?

Last night as excerpts from the president’s speech were replayed on our television, my husband directed at the television his frustrated counterargument. I turned it off. I didn’t want my husband to get upset. I was tired. I am tired.

I’m glad the situation pisses my husband off. I’m glad I’m still pissed off. But I feel the lull of apathy setting in, and I wonder if it was this apathy that turned off my television last night instead of concern for my husband’s blood pressure.

But what can I do now? I can’t keep screaming: It’s not working! Start listening to the advice of others! My opinion is out there. The Bush administration knows how I feel—it’s echoed by many writers, lobbyists, Congress, and by more than half the country in polls. They don’t listen. The people who can actually change the situation aren’t listening. And the administration has put enough of “their people” into right positions so that all “news” we receive is Bush administration propaganda. Luckily, nobody believes it. Unluckily, they still get to decide and implement policy. My generation, American, Iraqi, and other, is being killed off because the Bush administration is too immature and selfish to admit they are wrong. And the soldiers are honorable enough to continue to serve this president, even if he serves only himself. Très frustrant.

I used to try to believe that the administration really did believe they were doing what was best. Even if it wasn’t working at the moment, they really did believe that the occupation would be good for both our country and for Iraq (although more for our well-being than for Iraq’s). Now I think they “stay the course” only because they don’t want the other side to be right, like an argument on the playground in fourth grade. In his speech last night (that I didn’t watch, obviously, but did read excerpts from, of course), Mr. Bush said the plan was evolving, that the “surge” is ending, that troops will be coming home, some big number by Christmas. The truth is (I learned on NPR this morning) all of these troops were scheduled to come home anyway, they just won’t be replaced now. Whoopee.

I suppose if I were a soldier, I would continue to do my duty in earnest hope that it would make a difference. As a citizen I guess I still garner some hope that this can happen, even in the mess we've made. I’d want to try to establish a healthy infrastructure for Iraq, train protective police forces, give their government time to get over their incompetence and get their act together. I’d have to believe this. I’d do it for my country, and my country is NOT my government. I admire all of the soldiers who haven’t gone AWOL. (But I hate guns and question authority, so I’d be a sucky soldier. And desert camo is, like, so not my color.)

We can’t leave yet; this I know. But we can establish a political dialogue, somehow, with all of the other countries Bush has pissed off and alienated. Iraq has oil, an interest for many countries, so that can be motivation #1. But oil or not they are not going to try to work with a man who doesn’t listen and does what he wants anyway, so a Bush apology would be motivation #2. But, obviously, this is a pipe dream. A little more peace in the Middle East can be motivation #3. Iraq’s conflict now is essentially a political one, so a political solution is needed. Really. A more realistic solution may be to call Mr. Peabody and jump in wayback machine and not invade Iraq at all. This would arguably be the most successful strategy.

Admitting we were wrong for invading Iraq would do more at this point to honor those who've died than to continue to send men and women to slaughter for lies, because any “good” reason for invading Iraq at this point will be believed a lie. This too is sucky.

Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up an Iraq will be stable, homes will have plumbing and electricity, Sunnis and Shiites will be working together on establishing a democracy, and the Iraqi army will be so well-trained, powerful, and fair that the so-called insurgents would take up knitting instead. Then I'll very, very gladly admit how wrong I was to doubt the Bush administration.