Defend our Title!

So I totally dropped the ball on this this year. Binghamton is up once again to be voted the Capital of the Pierogy Pocket of America. You can vote once a day, and voting ends October 24. Yes, this Friday. Go here: http://www.pierogypocket.com/. Vote every day. On as many computers as you can.

We're up againsts Buffalo, NY; Whiting, IN; Forest City, PA; and Elmira Heights, NY. We have to win. The prize is $10,000, which will go to CHOW (Community Hunger Outreach Warehouse).

Debate Drinking Game Results

The drink:
Magic Hat "Participation" variety pack, brewed in Vermont, in the lovely, according to Republican VP candidate Sarah Palin, great northwest United States.

The shot glasses:
The glasses my younger sister brought us back from Paris, where we are moving if McCain wins.

The television station:
Uh, PBS of course.

The final talley:
Obama = 28 drinks
McCain = 25 drinks

My hypothesis was wrong! Obama said more things on his list than McCain, so Tim drank more than me - three beers to my two and a half. I'm certain we missed some, but close enough. I thought we'd be drinking more as well. I could have chosen more domestic-policy-related words since domestic policy was the debate's topic, but how often do debates really stay on topic? Last night they were pretty good.

Tim drank many times because of the stipulation that he drink every time Obama looked at McCain when he attacked him. I almost as many times for McCain NOT looking at Obama when he attacked him. McCain did look at Obama more in this debate than previous debates. Tim drank more for "middle class" than for anything else. I thought "look" would be the big one. I drank only once for "my friends," which occurred during the closing statements. When Bob gave them the opportunity for closing statements I thought I was a goner. McCain's closing statement was what brought me closer to Tim's talley; Obama was significantly ahead for most of the debate. My most anxious moment of the night was when Bob asked about the VPs - I held my breath waiting for McCain to say "hockey mom," which would have meant I had to chug two beers. He didn't say it.

Some debates about the debate:
"Reagan" was on the list for McCain. One of the first statements of the night was about Nancy Reagan. I put "Reagan" on the list thinking of Ron, and his being John's hero, and the crazy Republican idea that Reagan policies are to be emulated, but we decided that I should drink for Nancy, determing that "Reagan" said by McCain in any context was for the same intent.

McCain did bring up Bill Ayers, so Tim and I discussed whether it meant I needed to chug a whole beer. We decided no, because "Weather Underground" was on the list, not Bill Ayers, and McCain never actually said "Weather Underground."

Some thoughts:

• Bob Schieffer was by far the best moderator.
• Joe Six-Pack must feel totally dissed since Joe Plumber got all of the attention.
• OH MY GOD DID MCCAIN SAY PEOPLE WHO SERVED IN THE MILITARY SHOULD NOT HAVE TO TAKE CERTIFICATION TESTS TO BECOME TEACHERS? They don't have to be educated or qualified to teach children? They can just become teachers because they went to boot camp? They can become teachers by just signing up? This is an even stupider idea than trickle-down economics. This may be an even dumber thing to say than saying New Hampshire is in the great northwest.
• I'm pretty sure McCain thinks Palin's youngest child has autism; he's confusing Down syndrome with autism.
• Thank you, Barack, for pointing out that nobody is pro-abortion. Pro-choice is not pro-abortion. And it was totally awesome when John, after repeatedly interrupting you, told you not "to raise anyone's taxes," you said, "Well, I don't mind paying a little more." Awesome.
• On that note, though, Barack, you could be a little more aggressive. Holy crap you are chill.
• Speaking as an adopted child: F*** you John for presenting adoption a simple solution to abortion. Obviously I'm a huge advocate for adoption; I would encourage any woman to choose adoption over abortion, but it is ridiculously, positively, absolutely up to her to decide. Giving a baby up for adoption means carrying the baby for nine months, which changes everything about your life. As does having a baby and then giving it up. So, as a woman: F*** you John for belittling what this means. I would never tell a 15-year-old who had been raped that she could not rid herself of the tiny clump of cells that if allowed to grow will mean she can't have any caffeine, she can't have all sorts of food, she'll gain a whole bunch of weight, she'll have permanent stretch marks and belly fat, she'll have to give up any sports or physical activities she engaged in, and, oh yeah, that she'll be a pregnant 15-year-old who will be judged constantly and who will after nine months have to push a large baby out of her small vagina. And then after all that, give him or her up. I mean, I know being a pregnant teenager is all the rage now, but still. So, this was just a thought.
• Michelle Obama wore blue and Cindy McCain wore red. Why does Cindy McCain smile at audiences like we're a kindergarten class? Is it because we're poor?

So that, my friends - or folks, if you prefer - is my story of the last presidential debate of 2008. To end this post, I'll share with you the sayings on our Magic Hat beer caps: "Do not Quibble with Iskabibble, "the Biggest Gaffe is the Failure to Laugh," "Don't smirk at quirks," "The universe Always has Other plans," "In Magic We Trust," and "Have 3, Gotta pee." Interpret any deep meaning from these that you will.

Presidential Debate Drinking Game

I admittedly am not the first person to come up with this. I would venture that I'm about the 2, 376, 988th person to come up with it. But blog about it I will.

Tomorrow night is the third and final debate (*sniff*), which will be held at Hofstra University and mediated by Bob Schieffer. Tim and I, as we've done for every debate so far this election season, will watch it. Except this time, we're playing a drinking game. I drink for McCain, and Tim will drink for Obama, and we'll both keep a tally of how many times we drink. (I realize we could just keep a tally, but that's not as much fun.)

I don't really have a hypothesis to share other than I think I'll be drinking more than Tim. Maybe at the end of the debate I can come up with some conclusions. The following are the words or phrases that when said we'll have to drink. As you can see, the amount of words is even and the likelihood of them being said is in my opinion even (even though I still think McCain will say his more).

OBAMA
Folks
Look (two drinks for "uh, uh look")
Bush
Four more years
Last eight years
Middle class
Failed Republican policies
As I've said before
Affordable health care
Afghanistan
Pakistan
Al Qaeda
Every time he looks at McCain when he attacks him

Chug a whole beer if he mentions the Keating Five or "Bomb bomb bomb Iran"
Chug two beers if he mentions McCain's first wife, how many jets McCain's crashed, or how many houses McCain owns

MCCAIN
Maverick
My friends (two drinks for "But look my friends")
Reach across the aisle
Experience
Warshington
Tax small businesses
Surge
Victory
Fannie and Freddie
My record
Earmarks
Reagan
Every time he turns his back to Obama when he attacks him

Chug a whole beer if he mentions the Weather Underground or says Obama's middle name
Chug two beers if he winks or says "you betcha," "doggone it," or "hockey mom"

BOTH
Bipartisan
Wall Street/Main Street
Change
Bail out
Clean coal technology
Mortgage
Golden parachute
Crisis
Fundamental difference

Chug a whole beer if they hug at the end (and try not to throw up)

If you have any phrases you think I should add, by all means leave me a comment. I love beer, and politics, so it's about time I combined them. In addition, I recommend highly reading Oliver Burkeman's liveblog for The Guardian during the debate, especially the comments. Yes, he's a Brit, but that makes it even better. You can read the last debate here.

It's October of an election year, and I've been quiet.

I know; I'm a little surprised too. Besides some of the videos I posted last month, I haven't really said anything about the upcoming election because there are plenty, plenty of other places for you to get information. (I recommend factcheck.org the most.) But, as you know, the fact that you can get info elsewhere has never really stopped me from yacking before.

I guess I haven't really felt like blogging about it. This is not because I don't care, because I do, a lot - I'm slightly obsessed with the election actually. I love election years. Now that I've had plenty of time to digest the current situation, I will, as succinctly as possible, share my feelings about who you I think you should vote for.

McCain and Palin realize that Republican policies aren't the most popular right now (because they are bad). They've been trying really hard to show how they are different from their fellow Republicans (which they aren't). They've gone so far as to steal the slogan of "change" from the Democrats (because they have nothing original to offer). They spend a lot of time talking about how un-Republican they are (except about gays, guns, zygotes, and dinosaurs). So, we should vote for the un-Republican Republican instead of the Democrat. We should vote for the Democrat-like Republican instead of the straight Democrat. Dumb. If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck . . . And I can't believe anyone (who is not rich and out of touch as well) believes John McCain actually cares about them.

According to a recent ABC News/Washington Post poll, Bush's approval rating is now at 26 percent. His disapproval rating? 70 percent. His approval rating specific to the economy is only 22 percent. To put this in perspective, only Harry Truman and Richard Nixon got lower approval ratings. No president has had a lower disapproval rating. With this the case, I can't remotely fathom why anyone is thinking of voting Republican (besides the people who vote only to make sure that gays can't get married and women can't make choices about their own bodies).
Besides failed and embarassing Republican foreign policies, the economy is clearly the most important issue in the election. Bush's economic policies are not just Bush's, they are Republican policies. Seven of the last eight recessions have occurred under Republican leadership (sorry Jimmy). In January I'm sure this will change to eight of the last nine.

Republican policy is to cut taxes for big business with the idea that what is good for business and the rich is good for the country. The big businesses are then supposed to create jobs with their extra cash, make a bunch of new investments, and thus stimulate the economy. The magic formula is cut taxes = new jobs. McCain and Palin have been saying this over and over, as if all that needs to happen is for taxes to be cut and new jobs will magically appear. Uh, taxes were cut under the last administration and look what happened. Yes, I know there is a little more to it than that, but this is a huge part of it. You can't force rich people to invest in the country. Well, unless you tax them.

I'm not even going to go into "values" voting, except to say that I too vote the way I do because of my faith, and my soul screams against McCain. I'm not only voting against McCain, I'm voting for Obama.

Top Five Things I Equally Love and Hate

Deadlines
Bad writing
Birth control pills
Wasting time
Diplomacy

Top Five Traits I'd Turn Up if I Found a Personality Trait Volume Control

Patience
Spirituality
Courage
Tact
Perceptiveness

Top Five Traits I'd Turn Down if I Found a Personality Trait Volume Control

Negativity
Pride
Mouth
Judgment
Self-consciousness (which may actually stem from self-centeredness)

Top Five Videos I Think You Should Watch

Top Five Guilty Indulgences

Celebrity gossip
Writing myself as a character into books
Putting too much mix in my hot cocoa
Stalking online photo sites and Facebook for old pictures of my husband
Searching for my name under Google books to see if I'm in the acknowledgments

Top Five Ways to Spend a Sunday Afternoon

Watching football
At a baseball game
Napping
With the youth group
Lunch with friends and family (potluck or other)

Top Five Ways to Spend a Saturday

Wine tour
Visiting a museum or historical site
At a park
At a festival
At a beach

Top Five

Since theme months are so much fun and spawn the most comments, September *drum roll* will be a theme month. I’m stealing my theme from Rob Gordon in High Fidelity (or Rob Fleming if you prefer the book character's name) and making top five lists for whatever category I feel like making a top five list for for that day. I promise not to cop out on my answers to the "If you could do/be" lists by answering anything like "Exactly where I am." I hate when people do that. It's boring. It’s OBVIOUSLY a hypothetical exercise, so play the frick along! This may make my list of top five pet peeves . . .

The beauty of top-whatever number lists is that they reflect who you are at a moment in time. Five years ago my lists would have been different, and who knows if the next day I will want to change the previous day’s list. I also promise not to lie on these lists. It’s so embarrassingly clear when someone is lying about his or her favorite things. In other words, I won't be attempting to make you think I'm cool. You should know better by now. These will be my lists of favorites (or equivalent when speaking of the negative), not a lists of best/worst evers based on artistry or expert opinion. I will not be objective.

So, to start it off:

TOP FIVE FOODS I'LL EAT EVEN IF I'M FULL

Pizza
Cheese and crackers
Deviled eggs
Butterscotch chip cookies
Bacon

Get it? Sweet.

Return from the road trip

Some highlights from our road trip:

* My car getting 42 miles per gallon

* Passing the Shamokin/Pottsville sign on I-81

* West Virginia's policy of construction zone speed applying only when lights are flashing

* Witnessing a man karate kick the diesel pump

* My "Peace is Patriotic" magnet remaining on my car below the Mason-Dixon and back

* Drinking Guiness outside . . . legally

* Bodo's Bagels being a short walk from our cheap (but nice) hotel

* Getting to Monticello early enough to see the fog on the mountains

* Love lies bleeding being still fully in bloom

* Ignoring the GPS's directions

* The larger-than-life size Jesus cutout behind a trailor in Fishersville, VA (exit 91 off I-64)

* Five hours of talk radio

* Getting home in time to watch some of the Scrubs marathon on TV Land--which we get.

* My husand getting why I like Monticello

A road trip

This Sunday my husband and I are hopping in the car and heading down to Charlottesville, Virginia, to visit Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson. It’s one of my favorite places, if not, so far, my favorite place I’ve ever been. I’m really looking forward to showing my husband Monticello. I’m not expecting him to feel the same as I feel about it, but, as a history major, I’m sure he’ll enjoy being a tourist.

Best part: the gardens. At this time of year the flower garden looks like an organized attack of wildflowers. I’m hoping especially to see love-lies-bleeding, bloodflower, and flowering tobacco, whose flower smells sweet and a little like jasmine, but comes out only in the evening or if it’s a cool part of the day. I was lucky one mid-September afternoon—and probably won’t be this trip since it’s going to be hot and we’ll be there in the morning.

If it were allowed, the winding walk flower garden is where I would have gotten married. However, the place is open every day except Christmas, and the Jefferson Foundation doesn’t place weddings on their top ten list of preservation strategies (I asked during one tour; they said no). Perhaps if I could prove myself a direct descendant of Jefferson the idea may have been considered? I thought about a secret elopement in the corner of the garden, but if I were going to get married at Monticello there were going to be guests and pictures. I’ll ask again this trip, and if they’ve changed their minds I’ll get a divorce and remarry my husband, just for the wedding. About this I think I’m only 30 percent kidding. In other words, I really like Monticello. I considered working there after college in some capacity, but magic is lost once you go behind the curtain.

It must have something to do with Jefferson himself. Granted, Monticello is genuinely appealing to many people--it's not an ugly place--but I like knowing that Jefferson was there. I share none of his intellect, eloquence, foresight, or taste, so I can't view Monticello or the world as he did, but I like being close to it anyway. What I can relate to is his struggle between ideals and reality, and how he could never really get the two to meet. The hardest person to fight is yourself.

It's peaceful up on the mountain, even with all of the tourists around. I'd love to have it to myself for a morning, but it wouldn't be authentic. Since Monticello was a plantation, in its "glory days" there would have been many, many people moving about the grounds all day as well, just with more purpose. Ideally, had I been able to visit during the "glory days" (the quotes remain due to slavery), James and Dolly Madison would have been there, and the cook would be serving the French dish of noodles with melted cheese that Jefferson liked. Mmm.

Update: I didn't ask about weddings. It's better that way.

Playing psychologist

I've edited many psychology books and journal articles, so many that I sometimes feel certified to open my own practice. I'd probably be more qualified to tell you what words are misspelled most often in the psychology field than the presenting symptoms for a cognitive disorder, but close enough. I also lived for two years with two psychology students diagnosing me for various disorders (some of which I may indeed have), I own the DSM-IV, and I watch Frasier. These are my criteria for my following blog entry.

I can't remember if I've talked about this before, but I would like to introduce a new disorder into the field. You've likely heard of the Peter Pan syndrome. It's not in the DSM; it's a pop psychology term, but awesome nonetheless. It was introduced by psychologist Dan Kiley, who wrote The Peter Pan Syndrome and The Wendy Dilemma. Quick overview: Peter Pan = men who refuse to grow up, and Wendy = inappropriately self-sacrifing woman (does all the work, complains all the time but does nothing to remedy it, "admits" to being wrong when not, full of self-pity, and generally an annoying and unnecessary martyr). Staying on the J. M. Barrie theme, I'd like to introduce to the wonderful world of pop psychology the Tinker Bell Disorder.

I termed this disorder a few years ago during a discussion with a friend. It reoccurred to me this morning due a dream I had last night of an ex (who may have appeared as Sonny Corinthos from General Hospital). In the dream a group of friends and I were staying at a beach house. A hurricane was coming, and my ex had decided to go stand by the ocean. He likely, as in real life, was doing this because he decided I would be better off without him. He loved me, or at least thought he did, and so because he loved me he'd stay away--think Edward Cullen in Twilight and you'll get the picture, minus the vampire part, although sometimes I felt like il suo cantante. Not that this ex ever in real life threatened suicide, by hurricane or any other means--he was never horrible and manipulative--but he did remove himself from my life on multiple occasions under the same premise. (This drama may explain why he appeared in the dream as a soap opera star). Anyway. In the dream I decided that I too would stand out in the hurricane for as long as he did. I woke up before the battle of stubborness could be won.

Ironically, when my ex was trying to be most like an adult--making decisions for me based on what would be best for me--he was behaving his most childish. He didn't really have Peter Pan Syndrome, mostly because of circumstances beyond his control, but it was this childish behavior, and subsequent non-grown-ups I was attracted to/I attracted, that led me to diagnose myself with Tinker Bell Disorder: Women who like men with Peter Pan Syndrome. Different from Wendy. Tinker Bell loves Peter even though (or because) Peter can't love her back. Tinker Bell exists only because someone wills her to be there, and, in fact, she has a very short life in Barrie's novel, because that's the way it's supposed to be. Fairies live (commit) only a short time because to fairies it seems like a long time. By the end of the novel Tinker Bell has died and Peter has forgotten all about her. Disney leaves this out.

Those diagnosed with Tinker Bell Disorder aren't really ready to be adults either. Aren't ready to be adults and aren't ready to love adults. Once Peter decides to leave Neverland Tinker Bell will stay back, or will actually cease existing because Neverland is the only place she can exist. In the movie Hook, where Tinker Bell actually talks, she tells Peter, "Peter, you know that place between asleep and awake? That place you still can remember your dreams? That's were I'll always love you, Peter Pan." Not the real world.

However, it's okay to visit Neverland now and then. (Just not Michael Jackson's.)

Summer's end

It's cold today. I started this morning with the window wide open in my office, then cracked, and now I've closed it. I'm not ready for the summer to end, which I can't fault August for, because even if summer lasted until March I still wouldn't be ready for it to end. I know there are places on earth with constant summer, but they also have big cockroaches.

I've finished my work for today, and it looks as though I may have a few days off before my next project. I planned on going to the park today, but going to the park in anything other than a tank top and shorts today would just depress me. It's true. Going in tank top and shorts and being cold would have the same effect. It's things like this that make me so fun to be around.

Summer suits me better than any other season (and so gives sunblock makers reason to exist). If you've known me for more than a few minutes you've probably heard me say that I'd rather be hot than cold, and I really mean it. Yes, in the cold you can warm up, but I enjoy being hot. And I live near trees, under which I can sit. Summer also gives me an excuse to wear as little clothing as possible--I very often consider moving under a pier at a beach just so it would be okay to wear a bikini all the time, in context. Do cockroaches like saltwater?

What I feel now is the foreboding back-to-school weight, which never made sense to me because I liked school, and doesn't make sense now since I'm not going back to school and haven't actually gone back to school in six years. Yet, it still exists. I suppose it's more of having to let summer go, again, like finishing a good book, or the series finale of your favorite television show, or the end of a good concert. Summer means windows open and bonfires and doing regular, everyday activities outside, like cooking, eating, drinking, reading, and watching sports. Summer means road trips and long walks. Summer is an open door. Winter in upstate New York is confining, and often literally traps you right where you are. Physical confinement often agitates my emotional claustrophobia.

You can list for me all of the reasons I should be excited for fall: leaves, football, watching Kiley's soccer games, cider, apples, brown, The Office starting again, and I am excited, but I would gladly delay all of them for a few more months of summer.

I know; get over it. I will. Just let me mope through the last B-Mets homestand of the season and maybe I'll feel a little better.

Reason #4763 why I'm lucky

I'm very blessed to not only have pastors who are friends, but friends who are pastors. Thank you, Sara, for renewing our vows.

Reason #4762 why I'm lucky

Tuesday night, for our anniversary, my husband and I went out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. When we arrived the hostess looked at our name on the reservations list, then told us, "this tells me to see Mike [the manager]." My first thought: we've been blacklisted. But then she sat us at our table. Once the wine list and food came out I forgot all about our "see Mike" status. We splurged. Bottle of wine, clam sauce, dessert, etc. When the bill came our waiter said, "Your meal has been taken care of." Tim and I looked at each other in shock. Did the manager think he knew us? Should we tell him otherwise? Then our waiter said, "By a James Davis." Signature: "phone."


My parents completely surprised us by paying our bill. It was a really, really great gift. Thanks Mom and Dad.

Another update

My [adjectives deleted] upstairs neighbors have FINALLY moved out. They were supposed to move out in May. They finally moved out a few days ago. I'm very happy about this.

In a previous entry I mentioned taking sleeping pills with the hopes that (1) they'd work and (2) they would produce interesting dreams. Neither (1) or (2) occurred (and you were all left with a very lame dream-theme month). So, in April, we actually started sleeping in our guest bedroom so I could sleep. We were guests in our own home. But, I was able to get some sleep.

If you've talked to me at all in real life since November you know how I felt about my upstairs neighbors. I didn't and don't like how I felt about them, the things I said about them, and that I was incapable of changing anything about their situation or mine. Instead of hating them I could have at least tried helping them, somehow. It wouldn't have worked, of course, but I could have tried. My ideal self I have not been lately.

Combined with losing my job and my disruptive upstairs neighbors moving in, I've not only not been my ideal self, I haven't been myself. I'm working on this. I'm sharing this mostly to say sorry to those of you who have had to talk to me in real life. Hopefully it will get better.

Finally, a new post

Yes, it's been kind of a long time since I've posted anything. To update you, since my last post the following things have happened (well, that have affected my life):

I became a year older.

Baseball season started.

My husband got inducted into the National Honor Society for History. The same one I'm in, from, um, many years ago.

I earned my second pint glass from the Ale House.

I agreed to counsel two camps at Sky Lake.

I went to my first doctor's and dentist's visits without health insurance.

As the previous occurrence may indicate, I became officially self-employed (and very busy).

I survived numerous youth group events and fund-raisers, church meetings, Annual Conference, and polite suggestions.

I left a church service early so that I wouldn't miss the LOST season finale.

I watched the LOST season finale.

I've worn a lot of sunblock and bug spray.

I've worked at the park.

I've watched a lot of Home Improvement. It's on during my lunch break. I love this.

I've climbed rocks, hiked to the top of Wittenberg mountain, and survived a large-bird attack while on the aforementioned rocks.

And, I gave up a pretty big grudge, which I may blog about later. So stay tuned, sports fans. I'll try to be a better blogger, again.