Straight Girl Secret #17*

When given the choice between the needy, neurotic girl and the cool, fun-to-be-with girl, a boy will choose to date the needy, neurotic girl. On more than one occasion he will say to cool girl, "I wish my girlfriend were more like you," but he will never leave NN girl for cool girl. In fact, if this boy is spending time with cool girl, it is most likely to make NN girl angry and more NN. He will tell cool girl, and maybe even himself, that it is just because he needs a break from his girlfriend, but this is not the truth.

So, if you are a cool girl, you have a few options to avoid being used. You can choose one or more of the following:
1. Tell boy exactly how you feel about his girlfriend and then stop spending time with him.
2. Call him out on his behavior, especially if in the past he's said he does not like needy girls, which he has likely said on more than one occasion, and then stop spending time with him.
3. Start acting needy and neurotic yourself.

The outcome of this situation if you choose options 1 or 2 will be the following:
1. He will eventually leave his girlfriend and you two can be friends again (be prepared for the obligatory ex-girlfriend phone calls, notes, threats, etc.)
2. You will be invited to their wedding, to which you will bring a gift that was not on their registry and that you know only he will like, and then you will never see him again.

So as you can see, it's much better to be the needy, neurotic girl.

If you are already the needy, neurotic girl: Well played, my friend, well played.


*If you've found yourself a secure man and you want to be with him for longer than a week, unrealistic demands, using sex as punishment and reward, and daily tests of love in which the rules are always changing, are not the glue. Honesty and communication work much better in this situation. So boring.