A confession.

I do not like to speak in front of people. As much as I love to run my mouth I love it in the comfort of groups - at the dinner table, at a book study, yelling at a baseball game - or, even better, in writing. I could write a brilliant sermon and ruin it by trying to preach it. I could yell from a soapbox on the street corner but then hop down and run away when someone stops to actually listen. If I were a Shakespearean hero, my fear of speaking would be my tragic flaw. I would have insights to share, injustices to make known, prophecies to tell, but the world would never hear them because I was too afraid.

Rest assured, however, that you aren't missing any life-changing wisdom from my fear of speaking. And if you think you are, just read this blog. I know those of you who know me in real life probably find this fear incongruent with the amount of information I feel it necessary to share using my mouth, but it's true. I get up in front of a crowd and I get nervous, as most people do I suppose, but so debilitatingly nervous that I have trouble forming words. It's frustrating, totally not cute, and a little annoying. I'm too old for this crap.

Because I am so self-aware and smart, I've volunteered to read during two worship services at Annual Conference tomorrow. In front of a lot of people. But since it's reading, I may not screw it up. We'll see.