First in line

Yesterday I waited in line at the bus station for an hour. As departure time neared, the line grew. Minutes before the awaited moment when the bus driver enters through the sliding doors to announce that bus loading shall begin, a young man sets his bag down and stands at the front of line. Without hestitation I ask, "Are you just going to get in the front of the line?" He looked at me. I continued, "It wouldn't be fair to everyone else in line." He replied, "Oh, I didn't know there was a line." Then he moved to the back of the line.

I immediately felt awful. I wasn't wrong for pointing out to him that the line existed and that his budging was rude. In fact, I soothed my knee-jerk guilt by telling myself that I'd stood up for my fellow passengers. But "Are you just going to get in the front of the line?" Really? I'm a bitch.

My filter is thin at best. That's why I avoid confrontation: self-preservation (that and passive-aggressiveness, though almost 100% ineffective, is so much funnier). I'll say things I'll feel bad about saying. If I were trying to convince you that I'm a good person I'd say it's because I don't want to hurt the other person's feelings, but it's really just because I don't want to feel bad. Also, I'm horrible at improv, so should the person I'm confronting fight back my reply would be something along the lines of "Oh yeah? Well, well, you're ugly." Then my ego would be bruised, and that would be even worse than feeling bad. There's not much I wouldn't do to save my pride (little, though, my pride represents).

What I should have said instead was, "Excuse me. The end of the line is back there." I've said this before in similar situations and it has worked just as well. I sounded like a spoiled teenager yesterday.

The chance that this man missed noticing the substantial line, marked by ropes, is slim. The chance he was taking was that no one would call him out on his rudeness, a gamble he's likely won before. I don't admire his decision but I understand it, even if it is over something as stupid as getting on a Greyhound first.

What have we learned from this tale? Practice saying "Excuse me" first.