Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Gooder writing tip #11 (supplement)

Some instances when the passive voice is *gasp* preferred:
When the object is what's important, and the actor (subject) is not important or is unknown, as in scientific text or police reports.

Examples.
Juvenile dispersal is seen in black-capped chickadees.

That juvenile dispersal occurs among black-capped chickadees is what's important. If I write, "The ornithologist witnessed juvenile dispersal in the chickadee population," I've made the ornithologist the topic, which I did not intend.

The victim was stabbed three times in the leg.

The victim having been stabbed is the important information in this sentence. Especially because the stabber is unknown, it is best to write the sentence passively. This sentence is better than writing, "Somebody stabbed the victim three times," because, as with the ornithologist, I've placed the attention on "somebody," and this is not the sentence's focus. Later, when the stabber is discovered, feel free to give him or her credit for the acccomplishment. "Jerkhead McAhole stabbed the victim three times in the leg."

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