Dating Tip: Don't Date This Guy Because I Want To

It is the last day of January. This will be my last Dating Tip. I've most definitely saved the best for last.

Michael David Monn of Marysville, Tennessee, turned 23 in July of 2004. On his birthday he decided to wear his birthday suit and go get some nacho cheese. He scaled an eight-foot fence and broke into the snack bar at a local pool. With some Fritos and a can of nacho cheese in hand, naked Michael hopped the fence again and headed back to his Jeep. While in the snack bar he likely stuck his head right into a can o' cheese, because when police found the birthday boy he had cheese on his hair, face, and shoulders. Naked, covered in cheese, and drunk is perhaps how I'll spend my next birthday, just not in public.

So, you can try dating him, but you're going to have to fight me for him.