Seven active-duty soldiers wrote an article for the New York Times titled
"The War As we Saw It," which appeared on August 19. What a revolutionary concept to ask the opinion of people who are actually fighting the fight (and not riding a scooter on a ranch vacation or sitting at a fancy desk). You may have already read the article, and if you have, you know that one of contributors was shot in the head a week before the article came out. He is currently recovering. You may have also heard by now that two of the contributing soldiers were killed a week ago in a vehicle accident in Iraq.
Here is an excerpt from the op-ed:
To believe that Americans, with an occupying force that long ago outlived its reluctant welcome, can win over a recalcitrant local population and win this counterinsurgency is far-fetched. As responsible infantrymen and noncommissioned officers with the 82nd Airborne Division soon heading back home, we are skeptical of recent press coverage portraying the conflict as increasingly manageable and feel it has neglected the mounting civil, political and social unrest we see every day.
You can read the article here. Whatever your stance on the war, this is an insightful and smart commentary that should be listened to. It would be nice to hear more calm, researched soldier commentary. It’s too bad they are all busy at the moment.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
No, really—what is is good for?
Last night as excerpts from the president’s speech were replayed on our television, my husband directed at the television his frustrated counterargument. I turned it off. I didn’t want my husband to get upset. I was tired. I am tired.
I’m glad the situation pisses my husband off. I’m glad I’m still pissed off. But I feel the lull of apathy setting in, and I wonder if it was this apathy that turned off my television last night instead of concern for my husband’s blood pressure.
But what can I do now? I can’t keep screaming: It’s not working! Start listening to the advice of others! My opinion is out there. The Bush administration knows how I feel—it’s echoed by many writers, lobbyists, Congress, and by more than half the country in polls. They don’t listen. The people who can actually change the situation aren’t listening. And the administration has put enough of “their people” into right positions so that all “news” we receive is Bush administration propaganda. Luckily, nobody believes it. Unluckily, they still get to decide and implement policy. My generation, American, Iraqi, and other, is being killed off because the Bush administration is too immature and selfish to admit they are wrong. And the soldiers are honorable enough to continue to serve this president, even if he serves only himself. Très frustrant.
I used to try to believe that the administration really did believe they were doing what was best. Even if it wasn’t working at the moment, they really did believe that the occupation would be good for both our country and for Iraq (although more for our well-being than for Iraq’s). Now I think they “stay the course” only because they don’t want the other side to be right, like an argument on the playground in fourth grade. In his speech last night (that I didn’t watch, obviously, but did read excerpts from, of course), Mr. Bush said the plan was evolving, that the “surge” is ending, that troops will be coming home, some big number by Christmas. The truth is (I learned on NPR this morning) all of these troops were scheduled to come home anyway, they just won’t be replaced now. Whoopee.
I suppose if I were a soldier, I would continue to do my duty in earnest hope that it would make a difference. As a citizen I guess I still garner some hope that this can happen, even in the mess we've made. I’d want to try to establish a healthy infrastructure for Iraq, train protective police forces, give their government time to get over their incompetence and get their act together. I’d have to believe this. I’d do it for my country, and my country is NOT my government. I admire all of the soldiers who haven’t gone AWOL. (But I hate guns and question authority, so I’d be a sucky soldier. And desert camo is, like, so not my color.)
We can’t leave yet; this I know. But we can establish a political dialogue, somehow, with all of the other countries Bush has pissed off and alienated. Iraq has oil, an interest for many countries, so that can be motivation #1. But oil or not they are not going to try to work with a man who doesn’t listen and does what he wants anyway, so a Bush apology would be motivation #2. But, obviously, this is a pipe dream. A little more peace in the Middle East can be motivation #3. Iraq’s conflict now is essentially a political one, so a political solution is needed. Really. A more realistic solution may be to call Mr. Peabody and jump in wayback machine and not invade Iraq at all. This would arguably be the most successful strategy.
Admitting we were wrong for invading Iraq would do more at this point to honor those who've died than to continue to send men and women to slaughter for lies, because any “good” reason for invading Iraq at this point will be believed a lie. This too is sucky.
Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up an Iraq will be stable, homes will have plumbing and electricity, Sunnis and Shiites will be working together on establishing a democracy, and the Iraqi army will be so well-trained, powerful, and fair that the so-called insurgents would take up knitting instead. Then I'll very, very gladly admit how wrong I was to doubt the Bush administration.
I’m glad the situation pisses my husband off. I’m glad I’m still pissed off. But I feel the lull of apathy setting in, and I wonder if it was this apathy that turned off my television last night instead of concern for my husband’s blood pressure.
But what can I do now? I can’t keep screaming: It’s not working! Start listening to the advice of others! My opinion is out there. The Bush administration knows how I feel—it’s echoed by many writers, lobbyists, Congress, and by more than half the country in polls. They don’t listen. The people who can actually change the situation aren’t listening. And the administration has put enough of “their people” into right positions so that all “news” we receive is Bush administration propaganda. Luckily, nobody believes it. Unluckily, they still get to decide and implement policy. My generation, American, Iraqi, and other, is being killed off because the Bush administration is too immature and selfish to admit they are wrong. And the soldiers are honorable enough to continue to serve this president, even if he serves only himself. Très frustrant.
I used to try to believe that the administration really did believe they were doing what was best. Even if it wasn’t working at the moment, they really did believe that the occupation would be good for both our country and for Iraq (although more for our well-being than for Iraq’s). Now I think they “stay the course” only because they don’t want the other side to be right, like an argument on the playground in fourth grade. In his speech last night (that I didn’t watch, obviously, but did read excerpts from, of course), Mr. Bush said the plan was evolving, that the “surge” is ending, that troops will be coming home, some big number by Christmas. The truth is (I learned on NPR this morning) all of these troops were scheduled to come home anyway, they just won’t be replaced now. Whoopee.
I suppose if I were a soldier, I would continue to do my duty in earnest hope that it would make a difference. As a citizen I guess I still garner some hope that this can happen, even in the mess we've made. I’d want to try to establish a healthy infrastructure for Iraq, train protective police forces, give their government time to get over their incompetence and get their act together. I’d have to believe this. I’d do it for my country, and my country is NOT my government. I admire all of the soldiers who haven’t gone AWOL. (But I hate guns and question authority, so I’d be a sucky soldier. And desert camo is, like, so not my color.)
We can’t leave yet; this I know. But we can establish a political dialogue, somehow, with all of the other countries Bush has pissed off and alienated. Iraq has oil, an interest for many countries, so that can be motivation #1. But oil or not they are not going to try to work with a man who doesn’t listen and does what he wants anyway, so a Bush apology would be motivation #2. But, obviously, this is a pipe dream. A little more peace in the Middle East can be motivation #3. Iraq’s conflict now is essentially a political one, so a political solution is needed. Really. A more realistic solution may be to call Mr. Peabody and jump in wayback machine and not invade Iraq at all. This would arguably be the most successful strategy.
Admitting we were wrong for invading Iraq would do more at this point to honor those who've died than to continue to send men and women to slaughter for lies, because any “good” reason for invading Iraq at this point will be believed a lie. This too is sucky.
Maybe tomorrow I'll wake up an Iraq will be stable, homes will have plumbing and electricity, Sunnis and Shiites will be working together on establishing a democracy, and the Iraqi army will be so well-trained, powerful, and fair that the so-called insurgents would take up knitting instead. Then I'll very, very gladly admit how wrong I was to doubt the Bush administration.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
The New England Cheetahs
(Sorry, I'm keeping the title.)
So far I’ve heard it called “Cameragate,” “Spygate,” “Videogate.” It’s all speculation now—nothing has been proven—but New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick did offer an apology yesterday “to everyone who has been affected” by his “interpretation of the rules.” A vague apology at best, with no clear admission of guilt, but the sports world has certainly addressed the hot topic of the Patriots being caught illegally videotaping the Jets play signals.
I’m not a Patriots fan. I skirted fandom when Drew Bledsoe was their quarterback (but only after Buffalo was totally out, of course), but with the departure of Drew my apathy toward Bill Belichick changed to dislike. Besides my distaste for Bill’s disrespectful sideline attire (he looks like he just woke up, and not in the hot Colin Farrell way), I in spite of myself respected his decision making and coaching abilities, even if he was wearing sloppy gray sweatpants. Perhaps his talent is the root of my dislike, since the Patriots are the Bills’ AFC East conference mates and we more often than not lose to them.
In the past couple years opposing teams have been amazed by the Patriots and the quarterback Tom Brady’s ability to read the defense and defy it. Players and fans alike have been astounded by New England’s superb play calling. Belichick has been called “genius.” The Patriots did their homework and were a worthy adversary.
Fortunately, unlike war and love, not all is fair. The NFL has rules, and is a strong proponent of “equal opportunity.” The salary cap, the draft process, the constant drug testing, all attempt to give each team and equal chance every season to make the Super Bowl. New England, like Dallas before them, has been so celebrated because winning a Super Bowl more than one year in a row is a difficult accomplishment (as is winning the AFC championship four years in a row, going to the Super Bowl four years in a row, but I digress). It’s more often the case that the team who won the Super Bowl the year before doesn’t even make the playoffs the year after. And in the NFL, you are not allowed to set up a spy camera on the opposite team's sidelines.
Unfortunately, the NFL has had a rough beginning to the season: the suspensions of Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, the Patriot’s own Rodney Harrison, Wade Wilson, etc. And the Bills lost their first game by one point (but on a happier note Kevin Everett’s doctors are convinced he’ll walk again). Now all-star coach Bill Belichick is caught cheating. Has he been doing it all along? What kind of anger will mount if this is the case?
How do you defend this? As a fan, how do you react to this?
Confusion and disappointment? This article is especially interesting since the writer points out that current Jets coach Eric Mangini was a former protégé of Belichick, a member of his inner circle, so who better to know Belichick’s tricks? Coincidence?
Shock? This one is especially important to read since the title, "A Big Fumble," is a sports metaphor.
One writer offers that Bill is the only one who has been caught. So goes the theory that he's the smartest coach in the league.
Here is an article that has compiled the opinions of many sports writers.
Tony Dungy, longtime Belichick rival, is currently mum on the topic. He’s a classy guy.
Even if the cheating can be proved for only this one time, won’t we always wonder? It’s unfortunate—and by unfortunate I mean stupid—for the Patriots if they truly have spied this one time, because we always will wonder. They’ve now tainted all they’ve earned.
I wonder how much the players knew.
So far I’ve heard it called “Cameragate,” “Spygate,” “Videogate.” It’s all speculation now—nothing has been proven—but New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick did offer an apology yesterday “to everyone who has been affected” by his “interpretation of the rules.” A vague apology at best, with no clear admission of guilt, but the sports world has certainly addressed the hot topic of the Patriots being caught illegally videotaping the Jets play signals.
I’m not a Patriots fan. I skirted fandom when Drew Bledsoe was their quarterback (but only after Buffalo was totally out, of course), but with the departure of Drew my apathy toward Bill Belichick changed to dislike. Besides my distaste for Bill’s disrespectful sideline attire (he looks like he just woke up, and not in the hot Colin Farrell way), I in spite of myself respected his decision making and coaching abilities, even if he was wearing sloppy gray sweatpants. Perhaps his talent is the root of my dislike, since the Patriots are the Bills’ AFC East conference mates and we more often than not lose to them.
In the past couple years opposing teams have been amazed by the Patriots and the quarterback Tom Brady’s ability to read the defense and defy it. Players and fans alike have been astounded by New England’s superb play calling. Belichick has been called “genius.” The Patriots did their homework and were a worthy adversary.
Fortunately, unlike war and love, not all is fair. The NFL has rules, and is a strong proponent of “equal opportunity.” The salary cap, the draft process, the constant drug testing, all attempt to give each team and equal chance every season to make the Super Bowl. New England, like Dallas before them, has been so celebrated because winning a Super Bowl more than one year in a row is a difficult accomplishment (as is winning the AFC championship four years in a row, going to the Super Bowl four years in a row, but I digress). It’s more often the case that the team who won the Super Bowl the year before doesn’t even make the playoffs the year after. And in the NFL, you are not allowed to set up a spy camera on the opposite team's sidelines.
Unfortunately, the NFL has had a rough beginning to the season: the suspensions of Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, the Patriot’s own Rodney Harrison, Wade Wilson, etc. And the Bills lost their first game by one point (but on a happier note Kevin Everett’s doctors are convinced he’ll walk again). Now all-star coach Bill Belichick is caught cheating. Has he been doing it all along? What kind of anger will mount if this is the case?
How do you defend this? As a fan, how do you react to this?
Confusion and disappointment? This article is especially interesting since the writer points out that current Jets coach Eric Mangini was a former protégé of Belichick, a member of his inner circle, so who better to know Belichick’s tricks? Coincidence?
Shock? This one is especially important to read since the title, "A Big Fumble," is a sports metaphor.
One writer offers that Bill is the only one who has been caught. So goes the theory that he's the smartest coach in the league.
Here is an article that has compiled the opinions of many sports writers.
Tony Dungy, longtime Belichick rival, is currently mum on the topic. He’s a classy guy.
Even if the cheating can be proved for only this one time, won’t we always wonder? It’s unfortunate—and by unfortunate I mean stupid—for the Patriots if they truly have spied this one time, because we always will wonder. They’ve now tainted all they’ve earned.
I wonder how much the players knew.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Spin Doctor Needed
Roberto Gonzales is resigning. The press conference is happening this morning. I can't wait to hear why....My money is on: "Because you guys just keep bugging and bugging me I am unable to do my job."
Copyediting alert: I'm guessing Charles Schumer said that the justice department needs new leadership, not readership. (And delete the extra "announced.")
Reuters has offered up some Gonzales facts here. It's a bullet list. Enjoy.
Copyediting alert: I'm guessing Charles Schumer said that the justice department needs new leadership, not readership. (And delete the extra "announced.")
Reuters has offered up some Gonzales facts here. It's a bullet list. Enjoy.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Who is to blame?
(Besides Canada.)
The latest news I've read on products from China being recalled is pseudo-recall by Wal-Mart of a few dog treats and pseudo-recall by Toys 'R' Us of a some baby bibs. These aren't official recalls; both companies are "just checking." In addition, New Zealand has begun officially recalling some clothing products imported from China for containing poisonous levels of formaldehyde. Following Thomas the Tank Engine, Barbie and Polly Pocket (among others) can now give you lead poisoning. Toothpaste, tires, space heaters, lamps, chairs, and dog food all make the list as well, but this is old news. What's next?
To whom do I direct my anger? China for being cruel and greedy? The U.S. importers for being cruel and greedy? Did the government drop the ball, or is this oversight the responsibility of private manufacturers, buyers, distributors, and sellers? I'm going with China first, because we all know they know better. Then with the U.S. importers because obviously the toys etc. were cheaper for a reason. And Merry Christmas kids: at least 70 percent of the toys in U.S. stores are made in China (a Forbes article has this a 80 percent).
How embarrassing for China, who has launched a campaign to redeem themselves (my favorite defense regarding the Mattel recall being "well, no one got hurt"). How embarrassing for the company who sold the toys. What shameful ways to make a profit.
This special report by BusinessWeek highlights some of the most recent recalls. You may want to double-check that you aren't currently using any of these products.
Ugh. Sometimes I'm so ashamed to be a human.
The latest news I've read on products from China being recalled is pseudo-recall by Wal-Mart of a few dog treats and pseudo-recall by Toys 'R' Us of a some baby bibs. These aren't official recalls; both companies are "just checking." In addition, New Zealand has begun officially recalling some clothing products imported from China for containing poisonous levels of formaldehyde. Following Thomas the Tank Engine, Barbie and Polly Pocket (among others) can now give you lead poisoning. Toothpaste, tires, space heaters, lamps, chairs, and dog food all make the list as well, but this is old news. What's next?
To whom do I direct my anger? China for being cruel and greedy? The U.S. importers for being cruel and greedy? Did the government drop the ball, or is this oversight the responsibility of private manufacturers, buyers, distributors, and sellers? I'm going with China first, because we all know they know better. Then with the U.S. importers because obviously the toys etc. were cheaper for a reason. And Merry Christmas kids: at least 70 percent of the toys in U.S. stores are made in China (a Forbes article has this a 80 percent).
How embarrassing for China, who has launched a campaign to redeem themselves (my favorite defense regarding the Mattel recall being "well, no one got hurt"). How embarrassing for the company who sold the toys. What shameful ways to make a profit.
This special report by BusinessWeek highlights some of the most recent recalls. You may want to double-check that you aren't currently using any of these products.
Ugh. Sometimes I'm so ashamed to be a human.
Monday, August 13, 2007
This horn I'm tooting? Yeah, it's mine.
As the appointed "convener" of the BishBash 2007 I get to take credit as "leader" of the event. Although, as anyone who attended the event could see, many people did a whole lot of work and it was truly a team effort--someone just needed the head title for answering questions and taking blame :-)
The planning committee worked on BishBash from September/October 2006 until the event in July. Even with all of the late registrations and last-minute potato chip buying, everything was ready and together for the day of the event. Some people even dared to call the event organized. So I'm shamelessly taking pride in BishBash 2007, planned and executed by young adults (and the bishop of course). Anyone who helped should toot their horns too.
Here are some photos from the day and an article written on the Conference Web site. I'm quoted in the article, and sound super flaky (so don't worry: humility is balancing out my pride).
BishBash article
BishBash photos
BishBash photos
P.S. Maybe some, just some, credit should go to GOD.
The planning committee worked on BishBash from September/October 2006 until the event in July. Even with all of the late registrations and last-minute potato chip buying, everything was ready and together for the day of the event. Some people even dared to call the event organized. So I'm shamelessly taking pride in BishBash 2007, planned and executed by young adults (and the bishop of course). Anyone who helped should toot their horns too.
Here are some photos from the day and an article written on the Conference Web site. I'm quoted in the article, and sound super flaky (so don't worry: humility is balancing out my pride).
BishBash article
BishBash photos
BishBash photos
P.S. Maybe some, just some, credit should go to GOD.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
What I just learned:
Bed-and-breakfast is spelled with hyphens.
It never occurred to me to look it up before, but this morning I wanted to see if the abbreviation, B&B, had spaces. (For example, R & D, research and development, should be spelled with spaces between the characters.) I learned that neither B&B nor B & B is in Webster's, but "b and b" is, so I concluded that the abbreviation needed spaces. When I looked at the definition of "b and b" I noticed the hyphens in bed-and-breakfast, looked it up, and learned something new.
Now you maybe have too. Use this knowledge to impress others. You're welcome.
It never occurred to me to look it up before, but this morning I wanted to see if the abbreviation, B&B, had spaces. (For example, R & D, research and development, should be spelled with spaces between the characters.) I learned that neither B&B nor B & B is in Webster's, but "b and b" is, so I concluded that the abbreviation needed spaces. When I looked at the definition of "b and b" I noticed the hyphens in bed-and-breakfast, looked it up, and learned something new.
Now you maybe have too. Use this knowledge to impress others. You're welcome.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
One year
Last night my husband and I shared a piece of the top of our wedding cake and watched our reception video, for the first time (I'm still not ready to watch the ceremony). As I had already concluded from still pictures, my bridesmaids' bouquets and my hair were twice the size I wanted them to be, and I probably should have told the groom to have the groomsmen wear black vests instead of green so they weren't so matchy-matchy weddingy (since renting tuxes was cheaper than having the boys buy suits, even if tuxes were more formal than we wanted). And I'd do the invitations differently. That's what I'd change about the day, a year later--well, except for maybe eloping in the French Quarter as was my original plan.
We realized the best way to include our friends and family would be to have a traditional wedding. In a church (ruling out informal wedding party attire, we felt, out of respect). With a reception at a place where others did the work (ruling out the backyard picnic idea). Even our honeymoon plans changed from "hop in the car and just drive" to "stay in one spot all week," because by the time it was all said and done, the less decisions that had to be made the better.
I didn't give a crap about anything, really, on the wedding day itself: I just wanted to get married and then go have a party with my friends and family. It bothers me that I'm bothered now by the hair and flowers and formality, but I think this is because it's the wedding that everyone else reviews and scrutinizes and holds for posterity. The wedding does not matter. The vows very much matter, the promises very much matter, thanking your friends and family for their support very much matters; all the other stuff is just expensive fluff (on which conversations will be had forever).
And the pictures are nice, even if your hair is way too stiff and poofy. And even if everyone looks too much like they are in a wedding.
We realized the best way to include our friends and family would be to have a traditional wedding. In a church (ruling out informal wedding party attire, we felt, out of respect). With a reception at a place where others did the work (ruling out the backyard picnic idea). Even our honeymoon plans changed from "hop in the car and just drive" to "stay in one spot all week," because by the time it was all said and done, the less decisions that had to be made the better.
I didn't give a crap about anything, really, on the wedding day itself: I just wanted to get married and then go have a party with my friends and family. It bothers me that I'm bothered now by the hair and flowers and formality, but I think this is because it's the wedding that everyone else reviews and scrutinizes and holds for posterity. The wedding does not matter. The vows very much matter, the promises very much matter, thanking your friends and family for their support very much matters; all the other stuff is just expensive fluff (on which conversations will be had forever).
And the pictures are nice, even if your hair is way too stiff and poofy. And even if everyone looks too much like they are in a wedding.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Happy birthday Henry!
Today is Henry David Thoreau's (190th) birthday. It was at my age, 27, that Thoreau began his stay at Walden pond. After a week away at camp, I can see the appeal.
So happy birthday Henry.
Everyone celebrate it well: Plant a bean field, watch ants, play with loons, take a walk, write in a journal, babysit for a famous writer, have your aunt bail you out of jail, make a pun, sit alone on a pumpkin, live deliberately.
So happy birthday Henry.
Everyone celebrate it well: Plant a bean field, watch ants, play with loons, take a walk, write in a journal, babysit for a famous writer, have your aunt bail you out of jail, make a pun, sit alone on a pumpkin, live deliberately.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Spicy
I spent all of last week counseling junior high camp at Sky Lake. This camp was Reality Camp, with each day's theme and evening competition relating to (1) a reality television show and (2) a real-life reality, such as poverty, hunger, immigration, war, slavery, etc. (Side note: Don't worry, this is not an attempt at a profound diatribe; it's okay to keep reading.) During our rendition of America's Got Talent, my group sang their camp version of the Spice Girls' "Wannabe." They did such a great job with this song that I'm posting their lyrics here. (Another side note: Many camp-specific references are made in the song, but those of you who haven't been to camp at Sky Lake will get the gist I'm sure...and you can ask me--I'll gladly share.)
So you want my pigtails?
Remember your bag.
We don’t lose our points
’cause we got our tags.
Now don’t go wastin’ my swim time.
Send Methusala to East Shore and we’ll be just fine
So tell me whatcha want whatcha really, really want.
I’ll tell you what I want what I really, really want:
I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh!
I wanna really, really, really wanna zoomy zoomy ahh.
Chorus
If you wanna be a raspberry,
you gotta become a spice.
We live in cabin A5,
and it is wicked nice!
(Repeat)
So whatcha think about horders?
Orange knows how it feels.
You say that salt warms butter—
are you for real?
Now do be hasty; get to breakfast on time.
’Cause if you don’t then two points will say good-bye.
So tell me whatcha want whatcha really, really want.
I’ll tell you what I want what I really, really want:
I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh!
I wanna really, really, really wanna zoomy zoomy ahh.
(Chorus)
Now here’s a story from West to East.
You wanna be a raz you gotta listen carefully.
We got J by the can who loves Superman.
We got R who doesn’t stop ’cause she wants her lemon drops.
We got T by the lake who is afraid of snakes.
We got K in the sand filling up the can.
We got A in the path making everybody laugh.
(Pause)
Uhh, I’m T, and I like tots. ’Cause they’re Amurican.
Grab your buddy’s hand and raise it in the air!
It’s a buddy check so wave ’em everywhere!
(Chorus)
P.S. We won the talent show.
P.P.S. During huh! the girls made the huh! game arm movements. It was awesome.
P.P.P.S. The only lyrics I contributed were "We live in cabin A5, and it is wicked nice." Moving, I know. The girls did all of the rest. Cheers to them.
So you want my pigtails?
Remember your bag.
We don’t lose our points
’cause we got our tags.
Now don’t go wastin’ my swim time.
Send Methusala to East Shore and we’ll be just fine
So tell me whatcha want whatcha really, really want.
I’ll tell you what I want what I really, really want:
I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh!
I wanna really, really, really wanna zoomy zoomy ahh.
Chorus
If you wanna be a raspberry,
you gotta become a spice.
We live in cabin A5,
and it is wicked nice!
(Repeat)
So whatcha think about horders?
Orange knows how it feels.
You say that salt warms butter—
are you for real?
Now do be hasty; get to breakfast on time.
’Cause if you don’t then two points will say good-bye.
So tell me whatcha want whatcha really, really want.
I’ll tell you what I want what I really, really want:
I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh! I wanna huh!
I wanna really, really, really wanna zoomy zoomy ahh.
(Chorus)
Now here’s a story from West to East.
You wanna be a raz you gotta listen carefully.
We got J by the can who loves Superman.
We got R who doesn’t stop ’cause she wants her lemon drops.
We got T by the lake who is afraid of snakes.
We got K in the sand filling up the can.
We got A in the path making everybody laugh.
(Pause)
Uhh, I’m T, and I like tots. ’Cause they’re Amurican.
Grab your buddy’s hand and raise it in the air!
It’s a buddy check so wave ’em everywhere!
(Chorus)
P.S. We won the talent show.
P.P.S. During huh! the girls made the huh! game arm movements. It was awesome.
P.P.P.S. The only lyrics I contributed were "We live in cabin A5, and it is wicked nice." Moving, I know. The girls did all of the rest. Cheers to them.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
My College on a Hill
This is a simple story, really, in which nobody was seriously hurt, thankfully. It does concern my college that is set on a hill. I've been trying to come up with something funny regarding "higher learning" for about the past minute and a half, but I could not. Let me know if you do.
My college is currently renovating parts of the library, involving work that requires a wrecking ball. Well, the wrecking ball cable snapped, and the huge, round chunk of metal pinballed down North Main Street, hitting parked cars and eventually landing in the trunk of an Allegheny junior. The domino effect turned this into a four-car accident. As I said, everyone is so far okay.
I have not included a link to this story, because I want you to look it up on Google News. Type in "Meadville, PA," then click on "see all stories." Here are some of the headlines:
"Escaped Wrecking Ball at Allegheny College Goes to Town"
"Wrecking Ball Wreck"
"Wrecking Ball Comes Loose and Does What It's Designed to Do"
"Meadville Mishap Defines Wrecking Ball"
The third one listed is my favorite. Notice too how many Australian news outlets covered the story. I have no theories regarding this...I just thought it was interesting. Enjoy your Google.
My college is currently renovating parts of the library, involving work that requires a wrecking ball. Well, the wrecking ball cable snapped, and the huge, round chunk of metal pinballed down North Main Street, hitting parked cars and eventually landing in the trunk of an Allegheny junior. The domino effect turned this into a four-car accident. As I said, everyone is so far okay.
I have not included a link to this story, because I want you to look it up on Google News. Type in "Meadville, PA," then click on "see all stories." Here are some of the headlines:
"Escaped Wrecking Ball at Allegheny College Goes to Town"
"Wrecking Ball Wreck"
"Wrecking Ball Comes Loose and Does What It's Designed to Do"
"Meadville Mishap Defines Wrecking Ball"
The third one listed is my favorite. Notice too how many Australian news outlets covered the story. I have no theories regarding this...I just thought it was interesting. Enjoy your Google.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Hey! I'm sweaty!
It's going to be in the low 90s at the baseball game tonight.
Haze hung on the hills as I drove to work at 7:00 a.m.
This is what I've been looking forward to.
My hair is going to look so bad.
I love summer.
Haze hung on the hills as I drove to work at 7:00 a.m.
This is what I've been looking forward to.
My hair is going to look so bad.
I love summer.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
E6
Through the thick, hazy glass the book editor spied the yellow bag, whose colorful contents she knew would make the day's final chapter easier to read. She placed dimes and nickels in a fitted slit until through the dirty plastic screen above a red number 70, the high yet magic number needed to extract the yellow bag, shown.
It was time to press the item's letter-number combination, time to press the two slick buttons that would release the yellow bag from its hypnotizing captor. It was then the editor noticed that the bag's edge hung below the sticker below the bag that indicated what the letter and number were. A brief and necessary panic hit her chest: I can't see the combination!
But before looking at the items on either side of the yellow bag to determine the bag's combination, she let her hand raise, unrestricted, to the rows of letters and numbers on the right side of the machine. Only half aware of what was pressed she watched in subdued excitement as the yellow bag twisted free and fell with a chunk to the cavity below.
She retrieved the yellow bag and consumed its contents in spite of the tacos and dirt Kevin would be serving two hours later. The tacos were just a dream, and a dream can't get you through bland and obsure reports on the status of the hospitality industry around the world. But candy can. Peanuts covered in chocolate and decorated with a candy shell can. Kevin will forgive her. And she'll still eat a taco.
It was time to press the item's letter-number combination, time to press the two slick buttons that would release the yellow bag from its hypnotizing captor. It was then the editor noticed that the bag's edge hung below the sticker below the bag that indicated what the letter and number were. A brief and necessary panic hit her chest: I can't see the combination!
But before looking at the items on either side of the yellow bag to determine the bag's combination, she let her hand raise, unrestricted, to the rows of letters and numbers on the right side of the machine. Only half aware of what was pressed she watched in subdued excitement as the yellow bag twisted free and fell with a chunk to the cavity below.
She retrieved the yellow bag and consumed its contents in spite of the tacos and dirt Kevin would be serving two hours later. The tacos were just a dream, and a dream can't get you through bland and obsure reports on the status of the hospitality industry around the world. But candy can. Peanuts covered in chocolate and decorated with a candy shell can. Kevin will forgive her. And she'll still eat a taco.
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
In my passenger seat sits sunblock, a pair of sunglasses, a Keith Urban CD, and a parking stub from a B-Mets game. I can smell the baby powder of my deodorant, and light brown dust has settled on my dashboard from too many constructions zones driven through with a rolled down window.
It's summer.
It's summer.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Jesus forgot to get a green card.
When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.
Leviticus 19:33-34 (NIV)
Ye "Christians" of immigration reform, heed this teaching before thou beist a-holes.
(Imagine you were the immigrant. Just a thought. Maybe then you'd start working toward making immigration into our country less necessary; this means making the world better for everyone, everywhere. I know, wtf. How un-American of me. Fortunately, despite David Bowie's claim, God is not an American--we just think he is.)
Leviticus 19:33-34 (NIV)
Ye "Christians" of immigration reform, heed this teaching before thou beist a-holes.
(Imagine you were the immigrant. Just a thought. Maybe then you'd start working toward making immigration into our country less necessary; this means making the world better for everyone, everywhere. I know, wtf. How un-American of me. Fortunately, despite David Bowie's claim, God is not an American--we just think he is.)
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Pencil lead, eraser shavings, and cracker crumbs
I just spent the past hour cleaning my computer keyboard, popping off each key and Clorox wiping it. Then I disinfected the cavity below. I just wanted my accomplishment of this worthy task recorded in writing.
When I reached the L key, NPR began a story about putting your keyboard in the dishwasher; Morning Edition and I are so in sync. Apparently putting your keyboard in the dishwasher is all the rage now, except with anyone who knows anything about computers. "Short circuiting" I think I heard the Microsoft employee say in the report (and unfortunately not regarding the awesome Steve Guttenberg movies).
However, if I've just given you an idea you can't possibly resist, you can buy waterproof keyboards from a company called Seal Shield. The company sells mostly to hospitals, for understandable reasons, but that "dishwasher safe" now appears on the keyboard's box leads me to believe the company intends a general market appeal. But if you don't want to buy a $50+ keyboard, and still want to put your keyboard in the dishwasher, the two people in the piece who had dishwashered their board report that the keyboard still functions.
Though I doubt it's far less satisfying than popping keys out and putting them back on.
When I reached the L key, NPR began a story about putting your keyboard in the dishwasher; Morning Edition and I are so in sync. Apparently putting your keyboard in the dishwasher is all the rage now, except with anyone who knows anything about computers. "Short circuiting" I think I heard the Microsoft employee say in the report (and unfortunately not regarding the awesome Steve Guttenberg movies).
However, if I've just given you an idea you can't possibly resist, you can buy waterproof keyboards from a company called Seal Shield. The company sells mostly to hospitals, for understandable reasons, but that "dishwasher safe" now appears on the keyboard's box leads me to believe the company intends a general market appeal. But if you don't want to buy a $50+ keyboard, and still want to put your keyboard in the dishwasher, the two people in the piece who had dishwashered their board report that the keyboard still functions.
Though I doubt it's far less satisfying than popping keys out and putting them back on.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
It's summer: don't forget your parka.
I'm about to blog on a subject of great importance: air-conditioning.
It is currently 73 degrees Fahrenheit outside, a dream temperature that weatherpersons dare to call comfortable. But holy crap the office has air-conditioning, so it must be on, and set at "blast."
First of all, I kind of hate air-conditioning. It's artificial, dry, wasteful, selfish, harmful, and often unneccesary in most circumstances in central New York. I recognize the instances in which it is necessary (nursing homes, hospitals, large gatherings of people, etc.), but by necessary I do not mean set at 57 degrees in every standing building from May 15 to October 15. Who is comfortable at 57 degrees anyway? The exceptions, that's who, so why the heck do we make this the rule? Why make ourselves cold when we do not have to be? I'll let you all in on a little secret: we control the level of air-conditioning. Unlike the weather, all we have to do is press the "off" button if we want to stop shivering in July. Let the revolution begin!
Rarely do truly hot days occur in this area of the world. When they do, you have my permission to turn on the air-conditioning. In fact, I may thank you for it, but I'm really okay with being a little warm. When it's in the 70s, and even low 80s, just turn the darn fan on (and save energy, and money, and your soul). Maybe dress as if it were warm? Such clothing is sold. Let the revolution continue!
I wish I was being facetious about my anger, but I'm not. I like being warm (and even hot and sweaty has its moments), so in the bloody summer why do I have to wear winter clothing to work/grocery store/movie theater/theater/book store/coffeeshop/restaurant? Feel free to join the revolution.
It is currently 73 degrees Fahrenheit outside, a dream temperature that weatherpersons dare to call comfortable. But holy crap the office has air-conditioning, so it must be on, and set at "blast."
First of all, I kind of hate air-conditioning. It's artificial, dry, wasteful, selfish, harmful, and often unneccesary in most circumstances in central New York. I recognize the instances in which it is necessary (nursing homes, hospitals, large gatherings of people, etc.), but by necessary I do not mean set at 57 degrees in every standing building from May 15 to October 15. Who is comfortable at 57 degrees anyway? The exceptions, that's who, so why the heck do we make this the rule? Why make ourselves cold when we do not have to be? I'll let you all in on a little secret: we control the level of air-conditioning. Unlike the weather, all we have to do is press the "off" button if we want to stop shivering in July. Let the revolution begin!
Rarely do truly hot days occur in this area of the world. When they do, you have my permission to turn on the air-conditioning. In fact, I may thank you for it, but I'm really okay with being a little warm. When it's in the 70s, and even low 80s, just turn the darn fan on (and save energy, and money, and your soul). Maybe dress as if it were warm? Such clothing is sold. Let the revolution continue!
I wish I was being facetious about my anger, but I'm not. I like being warm (and even hot and sweaty has its moments), so in the bloody summer why do I have to wear winter clothing to work/grocery store/movie theater/theater/book store/coffeeshop/restaurant? Feel free to join the revolution.
Friday, June 08, 2007
They made a statue of us.
My husband and I were watching Studio 60 last night (apparently NBC is airing new episodes on Thursday nights?), and a continuing plot point is that the characters Matt and Harriet should be together, with constant flashbacks to their history to help prove the point. The key word here is history.
It’s a common tool in art and life to rely on the past to determine the present, especially regarding relationships. But shouldn’t determining who you are meant to be with be focused more on the future? Having a “history” with someone is a poor measurement on which to base a relationship. Before you indulge in previous good times and kind acts, think: Why are we not together now? (Some may offer the advice, “think of all the bad times and what you hated about him/her,” but this is crap, because all relationships have bad times and annoying habits. I offer instead that you figure out why you couldn’t get past them the first [second, third, etc.] time around. It’s not the bad times that are to blame, it’s the coupling of the people.)
Every situation is relative, and I’m not talking about the growing pains of young love. You two may truly be “meant to be” at a later time, but meant to be occurs in the moment, and it isn’t up to your control, so if a real relationship with the past person occurs again, I guarantee it won’t be based on the past (if it is, be prepared to break up), you’ll be different (if you aren’t, be prepared to break up), and the relationship will be wholly new (if it isn’t—you guessed it—be prepared to break up). It is easy to think, hey, with all this crap it must be love. It's not. History is history for a reason.
Thank God my husband and I didn’t have “history.” We didn’t even know each other when we first kissed, but we knew that from that moment on it would be impossible to live separate lives. I’ve watched Gone with the Wind, I’ve watched The Notebook and Sweet Home Alabama, so how could this guy possibly be the One if we didn’t have a history? We hadn’t played any mind games. We hadn’t used or tested each other. I hadn’t broken his heart just to make sure I could. How could the love of my life be a man I had never ridiculously, incredibly hurt? Pardon my lapse into drama, but I’d rather die than do any of those things to my husband.
So my point, if I even have one, is to say love really isn't, or doesn't have to be, as complicated as Dawson's Creek or Ross and Rachel. As for Matt and Harriet, I think they're in love with being in love but broken up. That's a whole other issue. Hopefully real love comes and saves them.
It’s a common tool in art and life to rely on the past to determine the present, especially regarding relationships. But shouldn’t determining who you are meant to be with be focused more on the future? Having a “history” with someone is a poor measurement on which to base a relationship. Before you indulge in previous good times and kind acts, think: Why are we not together now? (Some may offer the advice, “think of all the bad times and what you hated about him/her,” but this is crap, because all relationships have bad times and annoying habits. I offer instead that you figure out why you couldn’t get past them the first [second, third, etc.] time around. It’s not the bad times that are to blame, it’s the coupling of the people.)
Every situation is relative, and I’m not talking about the growing pains of young love. You two may truly be “meant to be” at a later time, but meant to be occurs in the moment, and it isn’t up to your control, so if a real relationship with the past person occurs again, I guarantee it won’t be based on the past (if it is, be prepared to break up), you’ll be different (if you aren’t, be prepared to break up), and the relationship will be wholly new (if it isn’t—you guessed it—be prepared to break up). It is easy to think, hey, with all this crap it must be love. It's not. History is history for a reason.
Thank God my husband and I didn’t have “history.” We didn’t even know each other when we first kissed, but we knew that from that moment on it would be impossible to live separate lives. I’ve watched Gone with the Wind, I’ve watched The Notebook and Sweet Home Alabama, so how could this guy possibly be the One if we didn’t have a history? We hadn’t played any mind games. We hadn’t used or tested each other. I hadn’t broken his heart just to make sure I could. How could the love of my life be a man I had never ridiculously, incredibly hurt? Pardon my lapse into drama, but I’d rather die than do any of those things to my husband.
So my point, if I even have one, is to say love really isn't, or doesn't have to be, as complicated as Dawson's Creek or Ross and Rachel. As for Matt and Harriet, I think they're in love with being in love but broken up. That's a whole other issue. Hopefully real love comes and saves them.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The Opposite of Faith
As I sat perfectly dull and unuseful on the lifeguard's dock this past Memorial Day (don't worry, I wasn't lifeguarding), the John Andrewses with Eliza in tow pulled up alongside the dock and waited for my husband to deboat them. While waiting the elder John asked me, "What would you say the opposite of faith is?" Because I think I'm just so darn witty and I know what non does to a word, I replied, "Nonfaith." I knew better, but I couldn't help myself. "Nope," John confirmed. The only other words I could think of were disbelief, apathy, and hate, so knowing I wasn't going to come up with the answer he was looking for, I said, "Well, there are a lot of dumb words I'm thinking of..." (perhaps it's not fair to call the words dumb), trailing off so that the answer could instead be given to me. (Admitting a lack of smartness seems a better option than proving it.) As hoped, John gave me the answer: certitude. How can you have faith if you know?
(He gave a few examples of people who knew and yet claimed to have faith--our Tinky-Winky loving friend was one.) So certitude it is. A professor had told John this once, and I'm glad he in turn told it to me. The whole point of faith is not knowing; belief is strong but certitude is final. John went on to talk about 1 Corinthians 13:13: "And now these three remain: Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." He explained that when humans reach of point of heaven faith and hope will have been fulfilled, but love will still remain, thus making it the greatest. Love can coexist even with certitude.
I'm glad my lazy sunblocked self was finishing a book while the Andrewses decided to go boating. So I'm sharing, and hoping that by sharing I don't forget to share these tidbits in the future.
(He gave a few examples of people who knew and yet claimed to have faith--our Tinky-Winky loving friend was one.) So certitude it is. A professor had told John this once, and I'm glad he in turn told it to me. The whole point of faith is not knowing; belief is strong but certitude is final. John went on to talk about 1 Corinthians 13:13: "And now these three remain: Faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." He explained that when humans reach of point of heaven faith and hope will have been fulfilled, but love will still remain, thus making it the greatest. Love can coexist even with certitude.
I'm glad my lazy sunblocked self was finishing a book while the Andrewses decided to go boating. So I'm sharing, and hoping that by sharing I don't forget to share these tidbits in the future.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Do you need me to make you a mix tape?
Tonight is the season finale of LOST. I'm very excited for this forthcoming two hours of my life. It is sure to be a life-changing event.That is all.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
