Gooder writing tip #10

The correct use of only

I spend a lot of time during my workday moving the word "only" to the correct spot. "Only" is a modifier; it modifies the word that follows it. Here is my advice: when you write the word "only," take a second to read the word after it. Is it the word you want modified? I bet it's not. This is one of the most common mistakes I find.

Let's analyze.

1. I only love Hugh Jackman.
2. I love only Hugh Jackman.

1. Only love = I've belittled love! I only love Hugh, nothing more.
2. Only Hugh = Ah, this is what the writer meant. His or her love belongs solely to Hugh. (I am not the writer, of course; I love only my husband.)

The correct use of "only" is easy to achieve. It takes only awareness and a few seconds of thought. For this previous sentence most people would have written "It only takes awareness...." Luckily, the intended meaning would have still been clear, but why not just write it correctly to begin with?

For all of you future copy editors: Exceptions can be made with dialogue. Since the incorrect use often sounds more natural, it's okay to let a character use "only" incorrectly. Dialogue allows for many exceptions since it is a character speaking, not the author, so it is the character using incorrect grammar. Sometimes the incorrect grammar is intentional, and it's best to assume this (and this assumption will benefit your relationship with your author). If the character's grammar error glaringly changes the intended meaning, ask the author before you change it. You're welcome.

Gooder writing tip #9

Punctuation and quotation marks

First tip: When in doubt, put the punctuation INSIDE the quotation marks. Inside is where those oft-used periods and commas go. Not-so-oft-used semicolons and colons go outside. Question marks and exclamation points go inside or out depending on context; with these buggers you’re going to have to make a decision—but don’t worry, I’m here to help.

Examples

Correct: The book editor said, “Johnny Depp is attractive.”
Incorrect: The book editor said, “Johnny Depp is unattractive”.

Correct: Johnny Depp has been described as “smart, funny, and handsome”; “dark and mysterious”; and “hot.”
Incorrect: Johnny Depp has been described as “dumb, dull, and ugly;” “light and fluffy;” and “fugly”.


Now onto question marks and exclamation points. These depend on whether they belong with the quoted material. Inside if the quote is a question or exclamation, outside if not.

Examples

When I asked her if I could have her Captain Jack Sparrow poster she said, “No you can’t!”
Why would she say “no you can’t”?
She asked me, “why would you want to take him away from me?”
She looked at me as if I’d said “give me your first born”!

Tell all of your friends. You're welcome.

Vote now!

Today is the LAST DAY to vote Binghamton the Capital of the Pierogy Pocket of America, so go here and vote (on as many computers as possible). Remember: the prize money, $10,000, will be going to CHOW!

An update on my life.

I just finished my second cup of company coffee and didn't barf and/or die.

Attention church girls:

The lovely Rev. Sara Baron is hosting a workshop this Saturday for young adult women of the Methodist church (and friends) on the topic of sexuality and the church. It is from 12:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. at Centenary-Chenango UMC in Binghamton. No doubt it will be informative and interesting. Unfortunately, I've posted this info a few days after the RSVP deadline (but do it anyway!), and I can't attend (because I'll be at a three-year-old's Halloween party in Philadelphia), but I wanted to share this information with others because I think you should go. Here is the flyer:

The Commission on the Status and Role of Women

of the Wyoming Annual Conference invites

United Methodist young women (ages 18 to 35)

to an afternoon workshop on:
Sexuality and the Church

How does the UMC understand sex and sexuality?
What guidance can the UMC offer on living life as moral sexual beings?
How does our sexuality impact our spirituality? and visa versa?
What does it mean to be a sexual being – and a single Christian woman?
What does it mean to be a sexual being – and a married Christian woman?

We’ll gather at 12:00 with a free lunch provided by the Centenary-Chenango Street UMC, hear talks on Christian sexuality in single and partnered life, break into groups to discuss the talks, and join together again to worship as a large group.

INFORMATION:
12:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m.
October 27th, 2007
Centenary Chenango Street UMC
438 Chenango Street
Binghamton, NY

For all United Methodist young adult women and any female friends they want to bring.
Please RSVP to s.baron@gmail.com or 607-263-5152 (Rev. Sara Baron) by October 20th.

NOT One Day Monday

But it is the fall fund drive for WSKG. Call 1-877-975-9754 or visit http://www.wskg.org/ and give them some money so I don't have to keep listening to them ask for it. And because you support public television and radio? But mostly so I can listen to Steve Inskeep's sweet, sweet, informative voice uninterrupted. I already gave my pledge. And I get an awesome travel mug for pledging. (Well, I'll get it next November, since my gift arrives six to eight weeks after my pledge is paid in full, and my pledge is paid monthly for a year--but good news: I should be getting my NPR laptop bag from last year's pledge any day now! Woo hoo! I hope my antiquated laptop fits in it.)

Okay, Steve's back on. Gotta go.

One year

Today, besides being the anniversary of the Peronist revolution in Argentina in 1945, is the one year anniversary of my blog. My blog is a year old today. Happy birthday, blog.

Blog Action Day

I've signed up to participate in Blog Action Day, a movement to get all bloggers to blog on the same subject for one day. This year's topic: the environment. I'd like to thank Al Gore for winning the Nobel Peace Prize for his role in raising awareness for the consequences of global climate change; it makes this easy.

In preparation for this blog entry I went to Google News and typed in "climate change." Mr. Gore dominated the articles listed, which only supports how beneficial it is to have him as a spokesperson for this issue. For some reason, many, many people do not like Al. But even those trying to discredit him give him and the climate change issue publicity (Al dislikers: keep it up--and he'll continue to prove you wrong.)

New York Times op-ed columnist Paul Krugman wrote a great article today on Al and his decractors. He notes that the Wall Street Journal didn't even mention Al Gore's winning of the Nobel Peace Prize, and instead made a list of all the people who deserved it instead. National Review Online writer Iain Murray likened Al Gore to a terrorist because Osama bin Laden is also against global warming. Mr. Krugman offers analyses of why Al his so hated, and how he's overcome it all. However you feel about Al, it's an interesting read.

Sharing the prize with Al is the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. Al has made sure to mention this group in every public statement about the prize. So I would like to also give credit to them here. The Vancouver Sun offers an article about one of the involved scientists, Professor John Robinson, or "Dr. Sustainability" as he is called. He's been fighting to raise awareness since the early 1980s, and is happy it's finally getting the recognition it demands. Dr. R.K. Pachauri, head of the panel, has appealed to developing economies such as India and China to develop new, more environmentally friendly technology, and to stop their current consumption and pollution patterns; developed countries are not good examples to follow. The panel's report titled "The Physical Science Basis of Climate Change" can be found here. On February 2nd of this year the panel presented that global warming was unequivocally occurring, and was the result of human activity. An international, bipartisan effort, the panel finally got the world to open their eyes. On February 2, 2007. Hopefully it's not too late.

So if you don't want to listen to me, listen to the scientists. If you don't want to listen to Al Gore, listen to the scientists. What they'll say in much more elegant and intelligent ways is: Stop being so selfish and ignorant! The consequences are going to kill more than trees and animals and Democrats.

I didn't forget about you, Al. Congratulations on the Nobel Peace Prize. I knew you had it in you.

Let's go Mets!

At trivia last night we talked briefly about post-season baseball, and how much we cared. None of our teams are in it. Everyone’s go-to the Cubs are out. Well, what about Boston? Some said yes. I said no.

Why? The Red Sox new curse: they are becoming just like the Yankees. In the past few years since the “curse” was lifted, Boston and their fans have left a progressively sourish taste in my mouth. I still choose the Red Sox over the Yankees, but I think it's because I choose anybody over the Yankees, even the Braves.

To justify all I say on the matter: I have both Yankee-fan friends and Red Sox–fan friends. (This makes what I say okay, okay?) But, Boston’s argument about the Yankees being the evil empire is bordering on hypocritical. Boston is second in payroll only to the Yankees; they are the second highest paid team in Major League Baseball according to 2006 statistics, higher paid than 28 other teams. And maybe it’s just me, but when I think of the Yankees, I don’t immediately think of Boston. However, when I think of Boston, I immediately think of the Yankees—their team identity is so dependent on the Yankees.

Many times I’ve walked the streets of Boston and have seen “Jeter Sucks” T-shirts. Never have I seen anyone selling or wearing “[Boston player] Sucks” T-shirts. (The brackets are because Boston has a high player turnover rate—the Yankees have more continuity. Sox fans can wear their Jeter shirt for years. Because Yankees are well paid, yes, but so are Boston players....) Maybe I need to get out more. I don't know.

The history of the rivalry is deep, and begins with the cities themselves: Boston vs. NYC. Patriots vs. Tories, which city is the intellectual/art/cultural center of the United States, etc. In the Boston vs. NYC argument, for me, Boston clearly without a doubt wins. I would pick to live in Boston over NYC in a heartbeat, maybe in even less time. I have many reasons for this, which I'll spare you. Moving on. In the beginning of the league, Boston was clearly the superior team. Then, as we all know, Babe Ruth got traded to the Yankees, and thus the curse was placed. The Yankees went on with their lives. The Red Sox did not.

So, help me out, Red Sox fans. Give me some non-Yankee reasons why I should like your team and why your abundant arrogance is justified. The Sox are good, yes, just as the Yankees have been year after year after year. What if the Yankees were to leave the league next year? Would you still love your team as much? I truly want to know; I'm not poking or picking. So enlighten me and bless me with understanding. Because right now, when someone asks me, Yankees or Red Sox? I'm likely to say neither.

The Church Has Left the Building

Below is an article I wrote that will be appearing tomorrow in the local Press and Sun Bulletin. (Update: you can find it here.) It can also be found on the Wyoming Conference Web site.

The Church Has Left the Building

If you intended to attend Sunday morning worship at Park Terrace Community United Methodist Church on Sunday September 23, you arrived at the church to find that worship had been canceled. Large signs in the church’s front lawn informed you that the Church had left the building. What? They just painted the choir room. Nursery school just started. The bills are paid and pews are comfy—why would they leave the building? You turn into the parking lot and notice it is full of cars. Maybe the signs are a joke. As you walk through the open church doors you find a lady in a bright red shirt sitting behind a table in the entryway. You hear sewing machines humming and dishes clinking in the fellowship hall. Babies are making noises down the hallway. A group of people are leaving the church. Noticing your confusion, the lady in the bright red shirt explains to you that instead of worship, the congregation has decided to spend the morning out doing community service. The church is still being used, but the Church has left the building.

On her table are a list of projects: yard cleanup, handicap ramp building, home rehabilitation, child care, sewing walker bags for a local nursing home, visiting nursing homes, feed-the-hungry, planting a flagpole garden at a fire station, baking cookies for soldiers, painting, and a bottle drive to raise money to help train landmine sniffing dogs. So much for remembering the sabbath and keeping it holy.

But wait—aren’t these services holy too? Does holiness occur in only church sanctuaries? The Pharisees confronted Jesus with a similar question regarding proper observation of the sabbath, to which he replied, "Suppose one of you has only one sheep and it falls into a pit on the sabbath; will you not lay hold of it and life it out? How much more valuable is a human being than a sheep! So it is lawful to do good on the sabbath" (Matthew 12: 11-13, NRSV).

One hundred and one Park Terrace congregation members tried to help pull sheep out of a pit on Sunday September 23. From 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. the Church, in bright red shirts, was cooking breakfast or pounding nails or sorting bottles or listening to an elder’s story. The Church was sawing wood or removing brush or painting a shed or cleaning out gutters or watering plants. The Church was mixing dough or threading needles or washing dishes. The Church was earning its capital C, out in the world as Jesus had done. Jesus never went to Sunday morning service at a Christian church.

Each group began their project with a common devotional, focusing on Matthew 25: 34-45. Pastor Nick Keeney asked the groups to focus on missions being about people, not production, asking how our work would focus on people, how does reaching out to neighbors affect our relationships with God, why were participating.

The ramp and home rehab projects began the Saturday before. Along with the yard cleanup, these opportunities for service were discovered through Tioga Opportunities, Department of Aging Services. Roger Kinney, team leader for the ramp building, explained that Tioga Opportunities has an unlimited number of projects available for the service-minded, but that most of all they are need of funds. So if nail gunning is not your thing, a monetary donation is just as welcome. Tioga Opportunities Department of Aging Services is located at 9 Sheldon Guile Boulevard, in the Countryside Community Center in Owego, NY. Their phone number is 607-687-4120.

Cooking at First Methodist in Endicott, NY, began at 7:30 a.m. Breakfast was served at 8:30. This is a free breakfast that is offered every Sunday morning to the community. According to Jan Borrows, weekly organizer and member of First Methodist, about thirty to fifty people a week attend the meals. Most people who attend work full time, but the income they earn is not enough to support themselves or their families. Jan hopes that breakfasts such as First Methodist's will help people realize that the divide between the haves and have nots is still a large one, and it’s not because the have nots are not doing nothing to better their situation. People who receive breakfast on Sunday morning are not required to attend worship services, but they are welcome. Jan sees the breakfasts as a chance to put words into actions. She said her aim was to “feed their souls and feed their stomachs.”

The yard cleanup project took place a few miles from the church, and was being done for a lifelong firefighter who, due to health problems, could no longer perform maintenance. This was the task of on grandest scale of the day, with brush removal, gutter cleaning, tree limb removal, and general lawn care. When I asked seventh grader Stephen Lewis, who was helping with the yard cleanup, what he thought about canceling worship, he said he was okay with it, explaining, “I got to skip church to cut stuff up.” But he returned to heart of the matter by also saying, “I think Jesus would be proud of us.”

Back at the church groups were busy baking cookies for soldiers and jailed youth, sewing walker bags for local nursing homes, and sewing potholders for Sky Lake Camp and Retreat Center. Others were donating their time offering child care. Another group was sorting bottles collected from a bottle drive. Not only were these bottle drivers raising money to train landmine sniffing dogs, they were raising awareness. The group handed out flyers to those who, after hearing what the bottles were for, asked “huh?” The flyers explained that landmines currently litter the Angolan countryside, an estimated about one to eight million mines in an area the size of Texas. Angolans live at constant risk of losing limbs and lives. This project is supported by UMCOR, and you can get more information by visiting http://gbgm-umc.org/UMCOR/emergency/landmines.stm.

Two groups went to nursing homes during the day, organizing worship services and visiting with residents. Another group painted a rundown shed in Owego, NY. Another group helped serve dinner at the Salvation Army in Binghamton, NY. The night ended with a gathering at the church at 7:00 p.m., during which the day’s stories were told, hymns were sung, and ice cream was eaten. At the day’s end, calluses nursed, cookies packaged, structures built, Park Terrace went home knowing they kept the Sabbath holy.

Pierogy capital: Binghamton

Mrs. T's is holding a competition for the Capital of the Pierogy Pocket of America, and Binghamton is in the running. Go here and vote every day. If Binghamton wins, it will bring world peace. Your vote is important.

Voting lasts until October 23.

Press & Sun article

P.S. Binghamton will get a sweet banner and win $10,000, which will be donated to C.H.O.W.